Social Pariah

SELFISH

Lucas felt numb. He was literally frozen to his chair that no matter how hard he tried to move, he couldn't. His mind was still processing all the words his real mother told him. His hands were shaking and his eyes welled up with tears. He couldn't form coherent words in his mouth and it seemed as though the courage he had a while ago suddenly left him.

Mary used his father. She cheated on someone with his father. The more Lucas thought about it, the more he felt disgusted at how he came from someone like her. A part of him wanted to forgive her but the words his father told him about how he felt when his mother left him replayed back on his mind and he felt no compassion towards the woman in front of him.

"Y-y-you –"

Mary bowed her head in shame. "I'm really sorry, Lucas. I know I was wrong and I didn't mean for any of this. It was an accident I –"

Lucas glared at her coldly. "So I'm an accident? That's what you're implying."

Mary shook her head. "No, son, I – "

"Don't call me your son, woman." Lucas looked at Mary in contempt. "You were never a mother to me. I feel so pathetic thinking that you left me – left us – for some financial issues or something but never have I thought that you would do such a...thing."

Lucas gave Mary a look of disgust that she was lost for words so she just closed her mouth and stayed speechless.

"You don't know about all the pain you caused my father!" he bellowed, Mary flinching at him in fear. "You don't know how he felt so alone, how he felt so used! And I can't believe that I even resented him because I didn't know how selfish you were! How could you even use him and tell me it's an accident?! How did you even survive having this guilt or are you truly so pathetic that you didn't feel guilty at all?! I hate you! I really, really hate you!"

Before Mary could even say anything, Lucas stood up from his seat, his fists clenched and he walked stiffly towards the door. Before he stepped outside, he gave Mary a look full of hurt and anger and he ran...he ran towards the unknown. He felt nothing. He felt nothing giving her that looks of hatred and despise and he didn't care where he was going.

His hopes were shattered and he felt more vulnerable than ever. Tears started to flow in his eyes but his face held no emotion. It was as if time stopped and he couldn't feel anything. He didn't know where he was headed. He felt no sense of direction.

His father was right about his real mother all along. She was different, too different than what he expected and he was so disgusted on how selfish she was. He knew that he was supposed to let go of the past and understand that everyone makes mistakes and they deserve a second chance but he didn't care that time. He didn't care that he was being selfish, telling his real mother that he hated her and telling her everything he was holding in. If she became selfish for sixteen years, then why can't he be selfish for now?