Living While Dead

Chapter 7: the escape

I paced the small space of my room.

To the window. To the door. To the window. To the door.

Back and forth. Back and forth.

"how am I going to convince them to let me leave?" I fretted. "I've been here like, what? Three days? And yesterday I was joking about a suicide party!" I facepalmed.

Diana was sitting on her bed with a purple pillow in her criss-cross-applesauce lap and her arms lazily thrown over it.

"I don't know." Diana admitted. "you'd have to make up a believable story. Show some emotion. But...I don't know what the evaluation will be like. I've never had one. This is my first time locked up."

"I need out of here, today."

"you could carry heavy things to make yourself seem like you've gained weight." she suggested.

"that's too obvious."

"unless it's under your clothes."

"okay, what can I use?"

"um...." Diana looked around our all but bare room. "what about the cabinet handles?"

"perfect!" I smiled, then frowned. "how do I get them off?"

"well, for one, you can't use the ones in our room. Fortunately, they're remodeling down the hall and there are some broken pieces out in the dumpster."

"cool. Let's leave."

"we can't."

I huffed an annoyed sigh.

"why not?"

"we have to have a chaperone to leave the building. And besides, you're going to be evaluated soon."

I groaned just as my phone pinged.

I checked my messages.

Ryder: 5

What the...?

I rubbed my forehead. I didn't know what anything was anymore.

Diana raised an eyebrow at my expression.

I showed her the text.

She looked equally as confused as me.

"don't worry about it. It was probably meant for someone else." Diana assured me. I shrugged she was probably right.

I tugged on my bangs and climbed onto my bed.

Maybe a solution would magically come to me in a dream! Not.

I harshly pulled the thin white hospital sheet up and shut my eyes.

I woke to my phone getting a text.

Two missed texts plus the new one.

(8:00) Ryder: 4

(9:00) Ryder: 3

And then the one I just got.

(10:00) Ryder: 2

I had really slept over three hours...? Wooooow.

But that was besides the point.

Every hour she sent me a new text. Counting down. By the time she reached 0 it would be midnight.... So what? What happens at midnight. What would she be doing at.....no.....

No...no....no nonono! She wouldn't! She couldn't! Not after saving me from the same fate.

But she didn't know. I had to tell her. now!

I started to panic. I couldn't think straight. Diana was goodness knows where so she couldn't calm me down.

What do I do?!

I reached under my pillow and picked up the mirror shard.

I shed my top and bra as I walked into the bathroom.

I started madly slashing above and below my breasts. On my sides. Anyplace my bra would cover.

The blood streamed down my torso. The pain so sharp and clear.

My thoughts calmed down and cleared my head. I could think rationally.

I sat there on the floor. Still slicing my skin, though not as wildly as before.

Once my thoughts were calm, I thought about Ryder. When we first met. Skipping lunch together. The fight we had. What could've happened to make her want death.

The blood trickling down.

The bathroom door opened.

"Miss! I'm sor-" a female custodian stood there gaping at the blood and my cuts.

She stumbled back, turning to press the nurses button beside me and Diana's bed.

"...blood! She hurt her herself somehow! She needs a doctor!" she was rushing and stumbling over her words when i had thrown on my t shirt again and followed her out of the bathroom.

She saw me, released the button and reached out to restrain me.

"please!" she begged right as I shouted "NO!"

I stumbled back into the door.

I twisted around, reaching for the door handle. I yanked violently, racing down the hall. Racing out the door. Racing against time.

I ran as fast as I could past the nurses desk and out the doors.

Run. Run. Run.

I heard shouting and yelling of my name. The pounding of feet as they chased me.

Run. Run. Run.

I raced down the street. Ryder and I's apartment wasn't that far away.

Run. Run. Run.

Up the flight of stairs. Past doors to mine.

Run. Run. Run.

I twisted the door knob. But it was locked. I couldn't open the door. My key was long gone. Taken from me when I entered the mental place.

I banged my fists loudly on the door.

"Ryder! Ryder, please! Rydiliana!" I called.

No reply.

I yelled louder.

No reply.

Time was quickly flying by.

Searched for something to help me.

Someone had a smooth, painted rock outside their apartment door.

I quickly grabbed it and slammed it into the lock on our door with all my strength. It broke slightly.

I slammed it again, harder and the brass lock was smashed to pieces.

I shoved the door, trying to get it to open. Slamming my body into it and it gave way.

I tumbled to the floor, on my hands and knees.

Centimeters from my fingertips was an empty bottle of sleeping pills. Right next to it an arm, torn to literal shreds. The blood was still wet and sticky.

I looked at Ryder. Her pale, ghostly face calm. Her chest did not move. None of her did.

She was a limp statue.

I crawled up next to her, pushing the pill bottle aside.

I leaned my ear against her chest.

Searching...hoping....for a tell tale heart beat. Or the whisper of air going through her lungs.

But everything was silent.

It was 12:17 in the morning as I let out a wail that eventually drifted into a gargled sob, wrapping my arms around my best friend.

Staining her black shirt with my tears.

It was 4:36 in the morning when anyone found us.