what do you call this kind of thing

8. heart to heart 2.0

Heart to heart 2.0

Johnnies P.O.V

I wake up in my bed with Nat next to I me. His arms are wrapped around me and my face is buried in his chest. Something off. I notice he's still wearing his shirt and laugh under my breath. I feel so bad about last night. I decide not to think about it right now, so I push it down. I just want to enjoy this right now, even if the reason this is happening is because I'm a fuck up. I pull myself tighter towards him. Hes warm and he smells good.i glancing ever at my alarm clock. It's almost 9AM. I sooo don't deserve him. I shut my eyes. Wait. I didn't have any nightmares last night. Werher it was the weed or the fact that Nat is here with me, I don't know. But I'm so glad he's here. I breathe him in and try to go back to sleep.

I wake up again to Nat moving around. I open my eyes to see him sitting up, stretching with his arms above his head. I can see a bit of his stomach. Hes all muscle and heat. I swallow. Then notices that I'm awake, bringing his Arms back down and laying back down next to me.
"Goodmorning." He says.
"G'morning." He smiles at me. My heart melts and my stomach does a little flip. He puts an arm around me and then looks a little worried.
"How was your sleep?"
"It was good." I look away from him, shame building up. "Really good."
"Thank you for um, staying. " I say hesitaintly. He smiles.
"What are boyfriends for?" He kisses me and I pull away quickly before I can enjoy it too much.
"Mabey not while were..." I gesture to our bodies, pressed together, laying down.
"Right." He mumbles. Giving me a cute half smile.

A while later I decide I better get up and get around." I-i need to, uh... take a shower." I say, getting up awkwardly.
"Uh...yah."He says.
"I-if your hungry you can just eat anything in the kitchen. " I look at me feet and then back up at him. He has a funny smile on his face. "What?"I ask
"I just like seeing you."He says, still smiling. My heart squeezes almost painfully. I blush and grab a short and jeans, heading for the bathroom.
After I take off my clothes, I stand for a second and look at myself in the mirror. My thighs have thick scars lapped overtop of eachother from early mornings of pain after nightmares. If I ever do get to that point with nat, how could I let him see this? He would hate me. I get in the shower dejected, and try to hurry. It's impossible to forget that he's here.

Nats P.O.V.

It's hard for me to not think about the fact that johnnie is naked in the next room over. Nock it off, Nat. I tell myself. I leave Johnnies room and go to the kitchen and make a peanut butter sandwich. About 5 minuets later I head the bathroom door open and see johnnie go from the bathroom to his bedroom. Then he comes back out to the living room. His hair is dripping wet. He shakes his head around and smiles at me. I'm sitting on the couch thinking of something to say.
" Do you want to walk down to the park together and drive back up in your car?" I ask him. He comes over to me and sits sideways on my lap, stretching his legs out on the rest of the couch. He sighs and leans into me, resting his head on my shouker. I wrap my arms around his waist.
"Mabey in a bit.... I was thinking we mabey need t-to talk a little bit." He looks down at my hands at his waist and reaches to hold my hand. Then he looks up at me. In his eyes I see fear and something else. His eyes are so beautiful. I'm about to tell him that when he says "I'm... um...guessing you probably think I'm a crazy stoner or something with, like, mental issues."
I shake my head.
"Johnnie I understand. I don't think your crazy. I think something bad happened to you and it still haunts you, and I don't think that's your fault. You didn't deal with it the best way yesterday but I understand and im not upset. I just wish you'd talked to me or called me or something so u could try to help you." He buys his face in my shoulder.
" you do help me. I mean, you did last night. I didn't have nightmares."
I hug him and sigh.
"Thats good. It's a start."
"We can go get my car now." He says, getting up. I need to take a shower but I'm not about to ask him if I can take a shower in his house. Were already pushing it for now wanting to go to fast with me sleeping over. I decide that doesn't count, due to special circumstances.