Mystic Messenger Book

Does Anyone Still Read This?

Today is June 28th, 2017, at 15:30.

Firstly, I'd like to say, I have one more exam left for this year, and tomorrow is the last day of school.

Secondly, I'd like to say this bluntly. I failed all of them.

Thirdly, Thank You to everyone who wished my luck, but I guess I just couldn't focus.

Fourth, this will also be blunt, this book might have to be discontinued.

This last part is a rant, so for those of you who don't give a shit about this book, please do not continued onward.

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I have been too stressed, for the past couple if weeks, I can't seem to focus on anything anymore. My mind is all jumbled, and everything's shit for me. I don't have anyone by my side anymore, and I don't know who to trust. No one's telling me anything; what's going on in their lives, the struggles they're facing, nothing. I'm drifting away from everyone I love, and it hurts like hell when you trust them with your life, too.

I've been dreading the last day of school, mainly because I've began to get close with a few of the people in my school. Most of them are a year younger, and I won't be able to see them again. The others, were my classmates, who I wasn't all that close until just a couple of weeks ago.

I've known the majority of my classmates for ten years, and they grew up to be my family. When we left our school for two years because of renovation, it actually began to feel like I was starting school for the first time, since the school I first went to, and the one I'm currently leaving, was my second-home. Returning back to that school, felt like coming home, and it's just painful to be leaving it.

I don't want to leave my friends, I don't want to be separated from them. I've already drifted from my four closest friends, and I can't bear to drift form these guys.

I'm alone, and I feel like an utter failure. Failing all of my exams, and I haven't even told my parents. I've been keeping up a smile and a lie, and I've been crying every night. I'm an utter failure, and I always was.

I'm not smart. I'm not a genius. I'm not as great as you all make me out to be. I feel so broken, and I can't help but want to leave everything behind and bury myself six-feet underground.

I tried so hard, but ended up failing. I can't look any of my teachers in the eye, and I can't even look myself in the eye anymore. Everything's gone to shit, and I just want to be gone.

I don't smile as often as I did before. I can't bring myself to pull a genuine smile, but I do it for the sake of not worrying others. I can't bring myself to feel the spark of happiness anymore, and I can't bring myself to feel good.

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Thanks to whoever read this far.

I'm sorry.