Sad Girl

I want ... 💔

I need someone now who will take my hand with violence and say those sentences from his heart and his feelings: " Girl , baby girl, stop crying all the night and trying to look happy in the day , try to forget your problems and your mistakes and you can , i know that you are suffering i know everything just from your eyes , but don't stay like this when i look to you and i see this sadness , i feel so sad because you are my reason for living and you are everything for me , you are so cute when you smile afer crying because you smile is so beautiful. Just take my hand you will be fine and i will never let you go and never get tired or sad , with me you will forget all you problems , all them . When you feel alone just call me and i will come to your room and listen you . Because i am living for you . Don't forget I am here for you . " but I am just imagining, that will never happen to me , life doesn't give chances . I have to live alone and feel alone and stay alone and die alone 😞
It's 02:38 p.m , I can't sleep , i just remember when he hurt me , his words when he said " Think before do it , Think " , maybe it was my mistake , maybe yours , but the most important thing is I am suffering , yeah I am . I delete the opinion of be happy in my future , I won't be happy I know . I aill stay forever this broken girl who has a heartache , who looks happy hut inside depressed , inside living and inside dying .
I just want to sleep , just to sleep , like I used to do always when i am sad , but now I can't , inside i want to sleep and inside I can't , I feel bad , my heart is really broken , i miss my really smile , i miss laughing from my heart, but I can't. I want to sleep and to forget all waht they did , mom , dad , friends and him , i want to forget everything about them , i just want to remember the best things which they did it for me , i just want to sleep to forget to be happy to swing in this life , to swing in my dreams, to close my eyes without seeing him , to don't look happy but also happy in my heart , to start again , to start everything from the beginning , to live all the time that I wasted for crying for cut my hand ... But nothing will change , i will stay me , the broken girl who won't forget what they did who can't swing or be happy ...
Can someone help me 😔 ?