Shedding Our Skin {Jughead Jones}{Bughead}

Chapter Thirteen

"Guys, I'm really tired." Polly admitted.

"Are you up for any more visitors?" Betty asked gently.

"Only a few. Then I want to get some rest. You guys will go home, right?" She asked.

"No!" Betty insisted.

"I just want to get some rest. There's no reason for everyone to stay." Polly argued.

I put a hand of Betty's shoulder, and we shared a look in which I tried to convey that maybe us leaving was best.

She seemed to understand and nodded.

"We'll be back first thing in the morning." She promised her sister, and kissed her on the cheek.

I looked at my girlfriend and her mother, and then at myself in a nearby window. We all looked exhausted. We needed to go home.

We dropped by the waiting room to tell everyone they could see her and to thank them for coming. Much to Betty's delight, they were unbothered by the fact that we were leaving.

After Alice drove the short drive to the Cooper home, we all stumbled inside, nearly falling asleep standing.

Betty went into her bathroom to change clothes, and I hung my beanie on her bed post. After that, I took my shirt off and fell into the bed, kicking off my shoes. I looked around.

I was the only source of darkness in the room, my black pants, hair, and discarded clothes stood out against the sea of light colors that was Betty's bedroom.

I felt a hollow ache in my chest as I realized I truly don't belong there. I allowed myself to get wrapped up in the prospect of being a part of this family and forgot who I was, and the threat I posed. I thought about the young mother and two innocent children that were in the hospital, resting. How did Donny know I was there? Who else did?

I thought about the bruises and scars healing on Betty's skin. I thought about how I put them there, in a way.

When I closed my eyes, I had visions of this family I wanted to horridly to protect. They were hurting, because of me and the danger I put them in.

Two nearly identical children, never getting to grow up. A mother who remained happy despite losing the love of her life, never again smiling. A mother who I had grown to appreciate staring at nothing, cold and turning blue.

Betty.

My love. Lying in a casket, barely recognizable. Beautiful skin cold and harsh. All warmth gone.

Why? Because I tried to lead a double life? In which I would be a member of a family, and lead a gang?

I remembered when my mother left with Jellybean.

I sat in the dirt, knees pulled to my chest, sobbing uncontrollably. My father sat down next to me, and put a hand on my shoulder. I thought he was going to try to comfort or reassure me.

Instead, he said, "Let this he a lesson, Jug. Jones men run alone. We don't need anyone else. No chicks, no kids, no one. Remember that, Jug, and the hurt will never be too bad."

Maybe, in a way he was right. Jones men run alone. Because we have to. Because we aren't worth the danger and dirt that comes with us. That's why Mom took Jellybean and left me. That's why I had to make the decision I made.

Betty left her bathroom. She was wearing a satin nightgown and had her hair down. She smiled at me, reducing me to a Jughead puddle. I moved over so that she could lie down next to me. With her back to me, I pulled my girlfriend as close to me as she could get, and gripped at the satin material as if she would soon fade away from under my fingertips.

Within moments, she was asleep.

Somehow, without waking her up, I got up and went to her desk. After I grabbed my bag and put on my shoes, I took some notebook paper and began to write.

Betty-

When you wake, I'll be gone. As you read this, you'll understand why you couldn't find me in the house. Please don't believe I'm leaving because I no longer love you. In fact, think of this as an act of love. I want you safe. Taken care of. Far away from the danger I bring. I know you will want to follow or find me, and bring me home, but you have to trust that I am no good. I want nothing more than to be a part of this family. And I hope you'll all accept me once again when this is over. If it would hurt less for you to move on, then that's fine.

When Polly, Persephone, and Paris come home, maybe you'll show the babies my picture. Maybe you'll tell them about me. Maybe you won't. Whatever you do, please don't make me the villain of this story. Even if I am, let this be the time you lie for me.

If I ever can, I promise I'll be back for you. If I come to realize you've moved on, don't worry. I won't even knock. I want you happy. If I come back and you want me to leave, I'll leave. I want you happy.

Lastly, I'm sorry I'm leaving. I'm sorry to leave this family and the register. I'm sorry to leave this singe-yet-ever-growing ray of sunshine in my stormy life. Maybe I'll one day learn to dance in all of this rain. I know you will do amazing things, Betty Cooper, and I cannot tell you out lucky I feel to have my life touched by your fingertips. Thank you for that.

I love you.
-J. J.

I crept downstairs, and said my goodbyes to the Heaven that was the sleeping Cooper home.

I took a deep breath and walked out of the door. Still shirtless, I began to walk towards the tracks.