therapy » hood

02

02 ✖ therapy session

day 3

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I had been in Calum's guest house for about 3 days now. I had been all alone. Calum said he was going to give me space no adjust myself to my new "home". It was neutrally designed, meaning both the house and furniture were mainly black, white or grey. Of course it had some colours. In the living room, for example, the big leather sofa was red and the decorative pillows were coloured and patterned. My bedroom had a bit of a colour too. The walls were white, the furniture was black but the duvets and the pillows were a metallic non-photo blue, as long as the two puffs and the bay window's fabric. There were band posters on the wall my bed was leaned on against, along with some photographs of me and my siblings or me and Calum, photographs which were taken a long time ago - when I was considered sane. The photographs and the band posters were almost all black and white, the coloured ones were edited to be in a non-photo blue to match the fabrics. 

Small white Christmas-y lights hung on the wall above my bed sending a relaxing vibe to me as I took deep breaths. 

At the moment, I was sitting on the bay window, my chin resting on my knees and my arms loosely around my legs that were closed to my chest. Therapy playing in the background, as always. I liked that song, more than a lot. It was relatable, in a way. Except I was a girl and Alex Gaskarth sang it to a boy, which was normal. But other than that, the song fitted in my so called life story.

I looked outside and watched Calum skimming towards the guest house. I didn't get up to fix my hair, my face, nor my clothes. I wasn't going to bother looking good to Calum because I never tried to look good to anyone but myself and it wasn't worth it to look good to myself because I was a mess inside and being good looking wasn't going to change it.

It didn't take long before hearing a light knock on my door, followed by the question "Are you dressed or naked?''  ''Anyways, I'm coming in!'' He announced, opening the door and sighing when he realized I was dressed.

''So, um, hi!'' He smirked. ''Do you think we should do a therapy session now? Your therapist advised me to do one with you at least once a week, and I thought "hey, what about now?!"'' 

I glared him for a while, he looked expectant so I decided to give him a shot. I shrugged and he grinned. 

''Great!" ''So, um, do you wanna do it in the main house? The guys are out and it's much more comfortable in there, trust me.''

I shrugged. 

''Just follow me.'' He demanded softly, turning away. 

I paused the music and followed him to the exterior and back to the interior. We sat on the carpet in opposite sides so I facing him and he was facing me. Calum decided to break the silence.

''So, Athena. I may ask you yes or no questions right?'' He questioned, staring me. I brushed a strand of black hair from my eye and nodded silently, it wasn't a big nod but I think it was enough for Calum. 

''Do you want to heal?''

I glared him first before answering, smiling widely, I nodded. I truly wanted to "heal". I was tired of being a broken toy, so I decided to hold on to a small string of hope. It was fairly odd to find a hopeful person that also suffered from depression though. Most of depressed people just wanted to end their own lives and I'm not gonna lie, I wanted death to happen to me too but I wanted to taste the feeling of being alive.

''Do you think you can heal?'' He asked.

Once again, I nodded. 

''Do you think you can heal totally?''