Just a College Girl (girlxgirl) (Book 2)

Choices

So many choices...

Looking over the brochures spread out before me on the bed, I feel kind of lost. I take a deep breath to try and keep from going nuts.

So many choices and no real answers, I'm graduating in a few months and I have no idea what I'm going to do. There are so many places I could go next year. I could go to a college nearby, or one far away. All of them have sent me brochures trying to get me to go to school with them. I guess that year I had all those problems didn't really hurt my grades after all. That's kind of a relief. Buffy and I were so worried that after I skipped all those classes and went nuts on my teachers for so long, it would keep me from getting a decent college education.

It was just that so much happened in that year and a bit. Finding out I was The Key and wondering if a hell god was going to kill me, my mother getting sick and nearly dying. Then after getting better for a while she actually died. I didn't think I would ever be able to deal with that. I mean, she's my mother. She kept me safe and warm all my life. Took care of me when I was sick and helped me with any and all questions I had about anything. After she died, I felt like I had no one I could count on. And just when I thought I could trust Buffy the same way I trusted my mom, Glory came after me, trying to end the world.

If that wasn't bad enough, Buffy ended up having to jump off Glory's tower and kill herself to save the world. When my mom died, I thought I was alone. But when Buffy died and came back to life, I found a whole new level of loneliness that I never knew existed. She just wasn't around enough for me to feel like I could come to her and talk to her about all the things that were bothering me. It wasn't until just before everything started happening with The First that we started talking and I realized why she was never around.

Now things are better though. Buffy and I have found a way to actually talk without yelling at each other. It took us a while. We weren't exactly on the best of terms after Sunnydale became a hole in the ground. And I know that Buffy finding out about me and Faith didn't help, but we've actually managed to figure out how to talk to each other. She's really come to accept the fact that Faith and I are in love and happy. I wasn't sure that it would happen at first, especially after finding out about the history between Faith and my sister.

They aren't in love though, and I feel so good knowing that. Faith loves me and only me. I couldn't be happier about that. She loves me and I love her. We've been together almost a year now and everything still feels as new as it did when we had our first kiss. She's shown me so many things. The kinds of things that until Faith I'd only ever heard about but never experienced. I couldn't have asked for a better teacher either. All the things that she's shown me have been so incredible. She does so much and made sure I knew exactly how to make her happy.

When I lean forward to pick up the brochure farthest away from me on the bed, I use one hand to pick it up and the other to run a hand through my hair and keep it out of my face before straightening up. The brochure is for StanfordUniversity. It's got a nice bright picture of a college campus on the front. Opening it, I look over all the pictures and little slogans plastered across it.

But nothing she's taught me can help me make this decision. I have to make this decision on my own, and I have no idea what it's going to be. This would probably be so much easier if I could go to a school for the occult or something, except there aren't any. Most of them don't even acknowledge that vampires and demons exist. Some of them have courses that study different cultures and stuff that talk about Wicca, but it's mostly in passing before they move on to 'more important' things.

Giles offered to tutor me personally while I studied to become a watcher, but Buffy wants me to get a real education at a real school first. Apparently I need to experience the college lifestyle and learn to expand my mind. Personally I think my mind is just fine the way it is. Faith wants me to get a college education too. It's one of the few things that my sister and my girlfriend actually agree on when it comes to me. They want me to have all of the things that they never got to have for one reason or another. So I guess I have to get one. The two people I love more than anything else in the world want what's best for me. There isn't much I can do to argue against that, or them. No matter how much I might want to.