Just a College Girl (girlxgirl) (Book 2)

The Strange Kind of Good Surprise

God I'm horny...

I pull my strap up over my shoulder for my backpack as I walk in through the front door of mine and Buffy's apartment building.

Faith and I have been in a bit of a no-sex zone ever since this thing with the feelings happened and it's not exactly making my life easy. Not that it was any easier before exactly. We still don't know the who or why of the whole sitch and it's kinda hard to figure it out since from what Willow says literally anyone could've cast the spell on Faith, and she can't reverse the spell until she knows which spell it was. Kinda makes Willow a little useless at the moment if you ask me, but at least she's doing the research. Hopefully she or one of the others will actually find something eventually.

Until then though, things between me and Faith are a little weird. Ever since Faith had that first problem, she's been pretty nervous around me. She's always worried that something's going to happen in the heat of the moment and I'll get hurt. It's like she's worried I'll break if she's plays with me too much, which is INSANELY frustrating because I really, REALLY want Faith to play with me, A LOT, and she won't no matter how much I want her to. If there's one thing that's always been great about our relationship, it's that.

When I get to the elevator, I press the button to go up and stand against the nearby wall to wait.

Not that we've been all about the sex in all the time we've been together. We do all the normal things that couples as normal as us can do together, but when we do have sex it's just... wow. It's incredible and exhausting at the same time. Well, for me it is anyway. Faith never seems to get tired whenever we make love. She sweats and needs to take breaks and stuff from time to time, but I sometimes get the impression that she just knows that I need it and so she stops herself. Of course, it's not like I have anything else to compare it to.

Faith's the only person I've ever been with or will ever want to be with, but I kinda wonder whether I'm really giving her what she wants. She's got all kinds of experience and stamina that I can't even begin to match if I tried. And I did kinda try that one time a couple months back before all of this craziness happened. I remember trying to wear her out one night by going as long as I could with her and I just... couldn't do it. One minute Faith and I were in bed together going at it and the next I'm waking up in the morning with Faith telling me I passed out in the middle.

The elevator finally dings and the doors open, giving me reason to walk inside and press the button for my floor.

After that, Faith really wanted to talk about why I pushed things so far that I passed out. But I couldn't tell her. I just... couldn't talk about why I wasn't good enough to, satisfy her the way she needs to be. I felt so embarrassed and kinda humiliated, and that's not something I want to be sharing with Faith. Willow wasn't much help in that department either. It was right around that time that I started getting advice from her answering machine instead of from her. And I really could've used her help.

But even if I can't completely satisfy her, this whole not having sex thing isn't working for me. The way Faith is touching me but at the same time not touching me the way that I want her, and need her to, is frustrating. Sometimes she'll stop right before things are starting to get somewhere because she doesn't wanna hurt me and it just leaves me wanting more... or sorta wanting to punch something. It's not like I can grab Faith and force her to make love to me though. She's like 20 times stronger than me and I wouldn't really get that far.

Finally, the elevator comes to a stop and the doors open. I shrug my backpack up over my shoulder again and walk out onto the floor, heading for the apartment.