Together Forever In This Universe (Boyxboy)

Chapter 31

Song of the chapter:
Unworthy - Vancouver Sleep Clinic

Aiden's pov

I opened my eyes and all I saw was white, a blinding white. My vision was blurry but soon I could make out where I was. Hospital room. Pale blue walls, big windows, white ceiling and a TV. I was in a white sheeted bed stuck to IVs. I tried to get up but my brain froze, just like when you eat too much ice cream. I stayed lied down and closed my eyes.

At least it felt good while it lasted.

Later I woke up to people in my room. The first one I noticed was Tairon on my left which made me smile. Then Chris and his dad on my right who were looking at me with a sympathetic grin. And lastly and surely the worst at the end of the bed, my parents or again the strangers who were once my parents.

"What happened?"scowled my 'mom'.

"Why are you here?"

"Answer."said my 'father'.

"I have nothing to explain to you."I responded.

I looked away and my eyes fell on Tairon. I wanted to be with him, alone. He seemed to understand that.

"Maybe you should give him time, I'll talk to him..."he said never breaking eye contact.

"And who are you to give me orders?"demanded my 'mom'

"I'm his boyfriend. And again maybe you should leave for a bit."

"You?! It's you who made my son become a fag! I won't let you alone with him, who knows what you're going to do?!"

"Be reassured, I won't bang him now. Maybe later when he's better."

"Don't you dare touch him, you faggot!"

"You're no one to tell him he's that freaking word!"said Jim.

My 'father' tugged at her and led her to the door, exiting the room. Chris and his dad left too. I wanted to cry. Why was I acting so gayly...?

"What happened?"Tairon demanded.

"I cut myself..."

"Intently?"

I paused and looked away.

"Yeah.."

"That's all?"

I didn't answer right away.

"I took some pills..."

"What pills?"

"They belonged to Louis..."

"What pills?"

"Paracetamol and... Cocaine"I said the last part barely above a whisper.

"Why?"

"I..."

"Were you thinking about... Suicide?"

"Yes..no... Maybe... I don't know..."

"You're not supposed to say all the answers."he said, the left side of his mouth tugging up.

"I just..." I sighed.

"Why did you want to kill yourself?"

"Everything's just like... Going out of hand and... With my parents divorcing, Louis and how people treat me at school and you who wouldn't want anyone else to know about our relationship..."

"I do. I told it to my best friends. And the guys on the team know about it. The whole school knows about it."

"Yeah... But you don't hug me or kiss me at school beside that one time... And I just feel like you're ashamed of me....I mean you're dating the freak of the school, the little nerd, the invisible guy!"

"I'm not ashamed of you! And that's totally out of context!"

"It is in context because I feel like you are ashamed of me! You are reminding me of a my freaking bitch of a mother who is always saying that I'm not even close to being passable."

"Aiden you're so much more than passable!"

"Oh yeah, and tell me when you dated that stupid girl, June, you didn't hide to hold hands or kiss or anything! Am I so much more than passable then if we did that without hiding?!"

"You know it's different."

"And what's different?! The fact that she has a vagina and I have a freaking dick?!"

"No... I.."

"That's what I said, you're ashamed of me..."

He looked right into my eyes.

"Maybe it would be better if I left too."

"Left? What do you mean?"

"Maybe you should have alone time to think. You're saying I'm ashamed while i'm giving you everything I got. I protect you and I love you and you know that and still I'm not enough for you. What do you want more? Why are you doing this to me? Why did you want to kill yourself when I'm here for you?"

I was taken aback. I didn't know what to feel or say. A part of me was mad at him but a tiny, so tiny it's kept in a box, in a cupboard, behind a locked door, in a far, far corner of me knew he was right. He is giving me all he has. His teammates are rejecting him, people look at him differently at school and I am just complaining about inexistent things. I'm creating problems and I'm being selfish.

"I'm sorry..."I trailed.

"Call me when you stop being selfish and acting like a baby."

And he slammed the door exiting the room. Exiting my life for God knows how long. Leaving me alone, a selfish baby supposed to be smart, who tried to kill himself with an unknown reason. I was weak.

I wasn't able to explain why I was so sad when I heard what my 'mom' said. I knew her. I knew she was like this since Louis died. Why was it like she shot me when she said those words? Wasn't I happy with Tairon and Chris and his dad? Was it because I knew that I would no longer have a family?

Anyway it wasn't enough to want to die right?