Sex, Skirts, and Spies

Chapter 3

“NO WAY! I REFUSE TO WEAR ANYTHING OF THE SORT!” Edward shouted, causing Riza and Roy and even the armored Alphonse to recoil.

“Fullmetal. you have no choice.” Riza explained. She looked mighty stressed, and she had every right to look that way. For the past 15 minutes, her, the Colonel, and Alphonse were trying to get Edward to wear a dress.

It wasn’t anything fancy, just a sundress with braided baby blue straps and a soft pastel lavender fabric for the actual dress. But for some reason, Edward refused at all costs to even look at it. And, in a way, he was allowed to do so. Roy had thought about being in Fullmetal’s position earlier that day, and it caused him a major cringe attack.

“Please, Fullmetal, make this easy on us. It’s already hard for me to have to pose as your boyfriend, but having your refusal on playing the part is only going to make this harder.” The Colonel stressed to Edward, rubbing his annoyed eyes.

“I don’t wanna wear a dumb dress! I just don’t see why they couldn’t get an actual girl to go with you on this dumb mission!” Edward whined, stomping his boots on the floor of the office they had all piled in to.

Roy rubbed his temples, trying to soothe the oncoming headache. He knew that by the end of their trip, he’d have migraines permanently.

“I’ve said this before, they need 2 alchemists for this mission. And since there no female State Alchemists, well, they had to resort to the last plan.” Roy answered, eyeing Edward up and down. This caused the young blonde to blush, turning his golden eyes from the older man.

Dumb Colonel, being a jerk and what-not. Edward thought as he looked in the mirror hanging from the wall.

The Colonel had requested a room for ‘their mission business.’ That being preparing both him and Edward for their mission, along with finding Edward a nice look that suited him.

“Edward, I’m going to ask you one last time. Put on the dress,” Riza’s voice was low, and suddenly there was a click near Edwards right ear. He turned his head nervously, and his eyes grew wide as he saw Riza pointing a gun at him. “Or I’ll have to shoot you.”

This made Ed decide to try the dress on with very little hesitation.  He literally stripped in front of Roy, Al, and even Riza. He got all the way down to his boxers before a slightly embarrassed Roy handed him the dress. Edward shimmed into it, tugging on it, causing Alphonse to yell at him not to rip it.

“Don’t tug on it! You might rip it!” Alphonse reminded his elder brother.

“But how’s it meant to get past my hips!” Edward yelled, frustrated and slightly annoyed.

Alphonse examined his brother, then rubbed his metal head. “Brother, you have to put it on from the top down.” Al sighed,  helping his brother out from the tangled  dress mess.

“Ugh, I don’t wanna do this!” Edward whined, but stopped the minute Riza’s hand went to her holster.

Before long and after many long drawn out sighs, Ed got the dress on.

And everyone was a little taken back.

Edward really did simply look like a girl. His slim body and curvy hips fit the dress nicely, and his butt was slightly larger than that of a boy. This bothered the young blonde, as he examined himself in the long body mirror in front of him. He’s cheeks reddened at the sight of himself wearing… well, a dress.

“Hold on, one last thing.” Roy muttered, and he slid from his spot on the wall. He walked over to wear the blushing Fullmetal was, and swiftly tucked his fingers under the tie holding Ed’s braid. Before Edward could shout and possible throw something at him, Roy snapped the tie, and Ed’s golden threads cascaded down his shoulders.

“There, now you really look like a girl.” Roy mused, smirking at the young boy standing shyly in front of him.

“I DO NOT LOOK LIKE SOME TINY PETITE SCRAWNY GIRL!” Edward shouted at the Colonel, his cheeks turning brighter red.

“Hmm, it does help with the look, but chances are you’ll need to wear some makeup in order to really play the part.” Riza added, bringing her hand up to her chin and rubbing as her mind filled with ways to disguise the boy into a young lady.

By now, Ed was about to cry.

First he had the mission with the man he hates most in the entire universe (or at least the military). Then, they have to pose as a dating couple! And next, he was ordered to cross-dress, something he was hoping he’d never have to do in his lifetime. And now, he was being forced to wear makeup.

“Come on, Fullmetal, this isn’t that bad.” The Colonel told the young boy.

“You’re not the one who has to dress like the opposite gender…” Edward, once again, whined. But now he was lying on the floor and had his face buried in his arms to hide his embarrassment.

“And be glad I’m not. That’d probably be the most horrific thing ever imaginable.” Everyone, including Edward, shivered at the thought of Roy in a dress (although it did amuse Riza slightly).

“And come on, you don’t look… that bad…” Roy gulped, trying to persuade his subordinate to stop complaining.

“I look like a girl! And that’s bad enough!” Ed’s voice was muffled from his arms, and it echoed slightly as it went through his automail arm.

“You look… adorable.” Roy choked as he said the a word. Edward’s honey soaked eyes shot up and made contact with Roy’s dark ones.

“What?” Ed asked, quickly and it came out more of a derp type thing.

“I mean, I might as well get used to calling you that if we have to pose as a couple for a month or so.” Roy said, avoiding Ed’s eyes.

And thats when the spark sprung into the young boys heart.

A/N

So yeah >w< That happened :P

Anyways I know these chapters are really short but it’s so it doesn’t draaaag out and bore you.

Also whats your opinion on Ed and his cross-dressing? I honestly find it really amusing, and the fact that him and Roy have to pose as a couple (insert evil grin) Haha, well, we all know how that’ll end.