Nobody Knows

6

I felt so bad. Why did I say those things to her? Nothing describes the feeling of guilt and regret as I saw tears rolling down Autumns flushed cheeks. She didn't seemed that bothered that I said those things; she only wanted to know who Adie was. Why did I have to let Adie slip out?  "Someone I want to forget, but I can't. I lost her, then I found her. I just- She brings back so many memories. But the worst part is that she can't remember any of them"  I told her, holding in my bitter emotion towards Adie. She nodded slowly, and put her freezing hand on my lap. "I get it." She said slowly, and looked into my eyes. I clenched my jaw, and looked away. She didn't get it. How could she? She didn't have anyone be given away, forced away. The tears stung my eyes, and I rubbed them away harshly. I didn't want her to see me crying; I didn't want anyone to see me crying. 

She was quiet the entire time I let out choked sobs. I couldn't help it- they rose to my throat, demanding to be heard. Quoting the great mind John Green, that's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt. She didn't comfort me, she knew better. She didn't know anything about me, nor did she know anything about Adie. It felt good, the heavy weight of emotion rose from my chest, and I could actually breathe, without my cigarettes. So many times I have been told not to smoke, it would kill me slowly, destroying everything in me. Maybe that's what I wanted? There were too many good friends of mine who were dead; too many people I loved, dead. I wouldn't miss anyone living, other than my dad and Dan. And Adie. 

I got up from the swing and rubbed my eyes, I was getting sleepy. The effect the beer had on me was gone, but now I felt even more tired. "Where are you going?" She asked, biting her pale rose lips. I snickered, she was worried about me. That darling. "I'm gonna go to the store, buy some stuff." She nodded, looking down. "You can join me, if you want." I suggested, and she sprang up, jogging towards me. I shook my head, laughing. "Which store? Almost everything is closed." She asked, looking at the time on her phone. "Oh dear. Autumn, Where have you been? There's a small store that's open almost every hour of the day. Also, next door to where Dan lives."  She nodded, letting this new information sink in. The flashing neon sign saying '24/7' was soon in sight, and I pointed at it. "That's it?" Autumn asked, and I nodded. 

"Hello, Diamond!" Mr. Brown smiled from behind the counter and I walked in, Autumn close behind me. "And who's this little girl here?" He nodded to Autumn, who coughed uneasily. "New friend," I said quickly, and took out some money before he could talk again. "Two cold waters, one pack bubble gum and some chips." I put the ten dollars on the counter while he rounded up the items. 

"You know, I think I'll head out. I'm pretty tired. But first lets eat these." I told her, taking the bag with everything packed in. We walked to the park again, and sat down next to the beer cans that were tossed away. I opened the iced water and drank it greedily. The coldness woke me up, and I bid goodbye to my sleep. After eating all the food, well I ate everything, I got up and dusted away barbeque powder from my warm legs. "I'll have to go. My dad will kill me. What about you? Want me to drop you?" I asked the sitting girl. "No, I'll be fine, thanks. See you tomorrow I guess."

"Definitely."