Nobody Knows

9

Autumn

Yesterday, my mother shouted at me. She complained that I was 'sucking the life out of her'. She screamed that she couldn't do this anymore. She whispered that she had had enough. She yelled saying that I was a useless bitch and that I will never amount to anything in my life. It was scary, but most of all it was sad. There was lots of breaking things and throwing involved, as well so I had to clean up the house after she finished her rant.

All the happy things that happened the days before this left my memory, and I could only remember the sad parts. Everyone in my family hated me. My mum just said it, my dad ignored me, my gran thought me as a failure.

I wish I was happy... with a normal family and a normal life. Ever since my eating disorder, my mum seems to be sad even more than before. I noticed that her smile isn't as bright as before. Her skin doesnt radiate as much as it did. Her eyes have lost that spark. It was like all the electricity that kept her going was cut out. By me.

I was awake all night, and I got ready for school at four so I could stay in the park until I had to go. My head hurt and my eyes were swollen because of the amount of crying I did last night.

It was comforting leaving the sad house that had so many memories ruined because of my constant messing up. I inhaled the fresh air and looked around. It was empty and deserted; I was half expecting a barrel of hay to roll across the street. Running to the park, I took out my phone. It was a text from Gem saying that she'll pick me up there. That was fortunate; I didn't have enough energy to walk all the way to school.

Hunter was there, sleeping on the slide with a small blanket around him. I smiled as I saw him turn and hit his head on the sides. He looked cute, with his hair and eyes. I was suprised he even wanted to talk to me yesterday. I couldn't really see him last night; but now, in the morning, he looked really handsome. But not even that model handsome, that imperfect, rustic handsome.

Slowly, I play with his hair. Its soft and it feels nice. It must be very awkward for him, to have a girl he met last night play with his hair as he sleeps. His eyelashes flutter and his eyes open, shocking me and I jerk my hand away.

He smirks, his smile lazy,"Well, hello Vester. Were you here the whole time I was asleep?" He shakes his hair and stands up. Now only do I notice that he must be five foot nine or something. I feel small next to him, probably because he is six foot one genius, my subconscious says and I face palm myself.

"I was not, I don't think I am that infatuated by you." I scoff, before realizing what I said.

"Oh, so you are infatuated with me?" He laughs and folds his blanket and puts it on a bag under the swing.

I groan as he slides his arms around my waist and spins me. I gasp- no one has ever done this, and I would have expected it the least from the boy I met last night.

By the time he puts me down, my cheeks are unusually red and his are too. I chuckle and sit on the swing, motioning him to join me. Hunter isn't that bad actually. He makes me happy.

He smiles and sits next to me, pulling my hand away from the chain and looking at it. He immediately frowns; he sees my cuts from last night. I completely forgot about them, I try to yank my arm away but it's held in place by his strong grip.

"Why did you self-harm?" He glares as me and I cower.

"How are you so sure they're my doings and not something else?"

He stays quiet at that one, and sighs. "I'm only trying to help." I hear him mutter.

"I, um... my mother, she... she said she I sucked the life out of her and she doesn't want me around. I'm an embarrassment to her." I sob unwillingly, pulling my sleeve over the cuts.

Before I realize it, Hunter is hugging me, gently stroking my hair. I nuzzle into his neck and he says its okay to cry. That makes me cry even harder and I wrap my arms around him. He is warm and he smells of raw earth and sandalwood.

I pull away when I stop crying, and I smile at him. I take out a handkerchief and wipe my nose. He lightly laughs, and it fills the park. He is already swinging, and his floppy hair is blown back. I look admirably at him, how does he not have a girlfriend?

Just then, I hear a car and Gem comes in, a cigarette between her fingers, and her eyes half closed.

"Hey Vester." She says standing next to me, watching Hunter slow down. "Who're you?" She shouts at Hunter, dropping her cigarette and stomping on it to put it out.

"Hunter. Vester's friend." He says cooly, standing up and putting his hand out.

She puts out her hand as well, and he laughs. "A cig, not a shake." She blushes and takes out a cigarette to give him.

"I'm Gem." She smiles, "I like you." She shakes her finger at him and she puts her arm around me. "Dan said that we should meet up, you in? Vester, Hunter?"

I nod, rememering the boy in the hospital. "Okay, yeah." Hunter agrees.

"What school do you go to?" Gem asks him, pulling her hand away from me to tie her hair.

"The one a few streets down... that, uh..." He snaps his fingers in an attempt to remember.

"We go there too." I tell him. "How come I've never seen you?" My voice comes out cracked and I clear my throat, earning a questioning look from Gem.

"Just enrolled there. Do you mind giving me ride today?" He looks at Gem, who is nodding. Wow, this seems to be going to quickly- Me spilling to Hunter, he and Gem becoming friends. It almost seems too unrealistic, probably because I just made two friends in a period of a few days. I never actually had friends before, if I count oit the imaginary ones. There was that kid, Jo, who shared his chocolate with me in middle school.

We walk to the car and get in. I hear Hunter laughing as he sees the car. When I get in Hunter and Gem are arguing that this car isnt just meant for families of six and that they are actually very convenient if you have lots of friends. Then Hunter points out that she must not. I smile at their conversation. I wish I made friends that quickly. To just walk up to someone and ask them something is true courage, for me, and I dont think I'll ever attain it.

"Do you wanna grab coffee before we go?" Gem asks me, disrupting my thoughts. She pulls over at an unfamiliar road and hops out, not even waiting for an answer from me.

"She's nice." Hunter tells me, leaning infront so he could see my face. I feel a pang of jealously and I unconsciously glare. Before I could say anything, he pecks my cheek and whispers, "But you're nicer."

I feel my cheeks go a deep pink as Gem enters the car again, carrying three Starbucks. She hands me one, something that is supposed to be chocolate I guess and one to Hunter.

"Thanks." Both Hunter and I say in unison and Gem smiles in return. I quietly sip my chocolate and hear the small talk between Hunter and Gem.

"Dan is a guy I met recently." Gem answers Hunters previous question. I couldnt hear his answer to that, but she laughs so I assume its something either witty or funny.  I zone out as I see our school, with its faded white paint and its own mystic cloud of bullies, geeks and emos.

"Stick with us and you'll be fine, Hunter." Gem assures, and we get out. I bite my lip and pray that today is better than other days. But thats what I wish for everyday, so maybe my prayer is invalid. I hope not.

this is a little bit longer than the other chapters, keep voting and comment a bit please :3 this is only just getting interesting so keep reading. ily so much xx