Demons (Jonathan Toews)

Chapter Four

“Hey, Maddie?” A soft male voice broke through my peaceful slumber. I wanted to open my eyes, but I thought maybe if I just ignored it, it would go away. I was beyond tired, and the beautiful chilly air created the perfect climate for me to fall asleep comfortably, even though I was lying on cement. “Maddie, Maddie, wake up!” My body violently shook, and as my head hit the cement lightly, I groaned and cracked my eyes open.

When they locked on to the huge brown eyes smothered in worry across from mine, all of the air left my lungs, and I just kept staring, feeling every drop of blood in my body rush to my cheeks.

“I-I’m sorry, J-Jon”, I said as my body shivered in the cool air. Tearing my eyes from his, I looked down and placed my hands on my arms and started to rub up and down, hoping the friction of the material of my shirt and my arms would make some heat.

The boy in front of me moved swiftly, and after a few seconds, he draped his sweatshirt over my shoulders and crawled next to me, putting his back against the ledge he saved me from nearly a week ago. “You scared me”, he chuckled rubbing his arms a little. “You’re the only person I know that could fall asleep here, in this weather”, he flashed me a crooked smile that made my heart race, and then turned away and looked straight at the ground.

Sitting in silence, I took in a deep breath, and smelled the cologne that was radiating off of the sweatshirt around my shoulders. Shutting my eyes, the scent filled my senses and sent shivers through my whole body. It was an amazing smell, and the thought of pressing my face into his sweatshirt and smelling it until my senses got used to it pressed in my head.

“You’re sweatshirt smells good”, I blurted out as I took the sleeve and placed it under my nose. This earned a hearty laugh from the boy next to me, who simply leaned over and looked up into my face smiling wide.

“It’s just cologne, it’s not even an expensive one.” He admitted like the fact that his cologne wasn’t top of the line designer from the perfect place in Europe made from the most rare scents was a problem. If it smelled good, I didn’t care if he cooked it u himself.

Shrugging, I put the sleeve back down and turned to him. “Who cares”, I whispered smiling a little. “You could buy it from the dollar store, and if it smells good I’d be happy.”

His eyes barreled into mine in wonder. By the way his eyebrows furrowed and he sucked his lips in, it was like I was a different species of female. It was like he had never seen a girl like me before. It was a very large possibility. I’m sure he didn’t run into permanently damaged suicidal, struggling, poor, art students all of the time. But I’m sure he could have met someone close to that.

“You’re a girl?”

“Last time I checked”, I cracked a smile and watched his cheeks flare up in the deepest red I had ever seen.

“I-I didn’t mean it like that. I just… I don’t run into many girls that… Girls that are as easy going as you, I guess that’s a good way to put it.”

Nodding, I turned my body completely towards him and twitched my nose a little as I felt the cold air beat on my bare face skin, making my eyes tear up. When Jon noticed my new position, he shifted a little and then turned completely towards me, crossed his legs like mine, and gave me a little smile.

As we looked at each other, I watched him become uneasy, look down, and start to rub the back of his neck. Studying him, I felt the urge to get up and leave. There was nothing forcing him to stay here. If he was this uneasy, this worried about being with me, he should just leave. I would leave, but I could never be the person to make the first move. It was against my nature.

“Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?” He looked up at me as his teeth gnawed on his bottom lip. Giving him a nod to go ahead, I clasped my hands together and awaited the flurry of questions, hoping that none of them were about the first night we ‘met’.

After a few seconds, he smiled at me and asked the first one. “What’s your name?”

“Madison Baker”, I answered. “What about you then? What’s your full name?”

He became uneasy at the question, and shifted looking around at everything but me. For a few seconds, he pondered his thoughts, looked along the ground, back and forth, and then looked up at me. “Jonathan Toews?”

I laughed at the question in his voice. “You don’t know your own name, or are you lying to me?”

“Why would I be lying?” He said cracking a sly smile.

“I have the slightest idea, you’re the one that asked me what your name was”, I scrunched up my face and then shivered a little. “If I am supposed to know who you are, I don’t.” I said adding a little more sass to my words than I had intended.

We both shared a laugh, and after a few minutes, Jon’s sparkling brown eyes connected with mine, and I watched as he stared at me, the small smile on his lips never fading.

“I’m sorry I just… Nevermind, so where are you from?”

“Michigan. I was originally from a small town, I moved a few times.” I shifted uneasily at the thought of moving to different foster homes. The thoughts of why I was placed there in the first placed rushed into my head, and I felt sick in seconds. Body tense, I pulled my knees into my chest and pressed my chin into the top of my knees, hoping that if Jonathan kept talking these thoughts would leave my brain.

He did, thankfully. He started talking about himself, where he came from, what being Canadian was like in America, how things were different, how he spoke French, and was used to girls liking high class things, materialistic things, and all of those other ‘businessman/wealthy man’ type of problems. Then he started talking about his job, how he was always stressed, how being the ‘boss’ was always getting to him, weighing on his shoulders, making him stay up for hours on end, worrying, thinking, and making himself full of anxiety and worry. He explained that’s why he needed those sleeping pills, because there was nothing in his life that could ease his mind enough for him to fall asleep without them. Girls never made him happy, his friends were so carefree it drove him crazy, and his job never let him have an easy day, especially as of late.

When he was done, he looked deflated. His shoulders were slumped forward, his eyes were dull, and he looked tired. The bags under his eyes stuck out more as he spoke about them, and the small shake of his hands was also visible.

“Hey”, I started trying to get him to bring his eyes to mine, “How long have you been doing this?”

“Since I was nineteen”, he said raising his eyebrows. “I’m twenty-five now.”

“The hell”, I laughed looking up at him, “You must have some kind of crazy talent to get a job that gives you all of this at nineteen. That’s not even out of college yet”, I said curiosity covering my features.

Nodding, he looked up at me and smiled a little. “It’s freezing up here, would you mind if we took this therapy session to my apartment?” He stared at me, gauging my reactions, waiting for me to run, apologize and give him some dumb excuse as to why I shouldn’t.

But I couldn’t think of one. I honestly didn’t want to step foot into his place. I imagine that I could just be another one of the girls he brings there. With his looks and money I’m sure he has tons of ‘woman’. But still, there was something that refused to make me decline his offer.

“Sure, for a little. A little warmth never hurt anyone”, I gave him a small smile and watched as he got up and extended his hand to me, helping me up. As I placed my hand in his, I felt my whole entire body warm. It was huge compared to mine. Warm, soft, and huge. It made me shiver; it made me want to scream. It was a feeling I had maybe felt one other time in my life, and that was a memory I wasn’t up to remembering.

Once on my feet, I stuck my arms into the sleeves of the sweatshirt and quickly let go of his hand and followed him down into the apartment, and then down two flights of stairs and into the normal hallways. Once there, he walked passed the one other door on the floor and stopped at the one at the end of the hall on the oppsite side.

When he opened the door, and I looked into the huge room, the expensive style and furniture, I paused and felt my body get weak and sick at the same time. What was I doing? What was I getting myself into? He wasn’t just well off, this guy was rich. He was obviously some kind of prodigy, some kind of person that never in their life would ever consider a low life like myself a friend.

“I think I need to go home”, I blurted out, showing how obviously intimidated I was by his place. “I.. I don’t think-“

“Are you aright?” He asked stepping out into the hallway and placing his hand on y face. I could imagine what I looked like. Pale and sick. I haven’t eaten much more than a few crackers in a few days, and sleeping also hasn’t been on my list of things to do.

“I just, I-“

He pulled me into his apartment and sat me down at one of the stools at the island of his kitchen. He moved swiftly from cabinet to cabinet, his eyebrows furrowing when he opened a cabinet to nothing but protein shake powder or energy bars. As I examined the food, I turned and looked at the huge living room across from the kitchen. There were a few frames, all incasing nicely folded hockey jersey’s signed, and then a signed stick.

“Hold on, Maddie. I’ll find something for you to eat. Okay? Lemme check the fridge.” He said waving his hand for me to stay there, but I was already turned away form him. My legs brought me over to the walls, and as my eyes traced over all of the hockey things lining his walls, I came across a picture of a team, all in red jerseys. Narrowing my eyes, I looked at the man in the center, holding the huge medal trophy above him and then paused.

My body shut down. Eyes the size of saucers, mouth dry, and head spinning, I turned around to meet the eyes of the man who I was just staring at in the picture maybe two feet in front of me. His eyes were wide like a deer in headlights, and when he noticed the look on my face, his cheeks burnt red and his mouth opened slightly.

“Maddie?”

“Are you kidding me?” I squeaked angrily. “You.. You’re him. You’re.. I think I need to go.” I quickly walked passed him, ours shoulders colliding. “I think we are a little different. I mean you’re… I just need to go.”

“Hey, Hey”, he called as I made my way to the front door. “Hey!” He said finally in the same tone he said it the night we met, the night he pulled me from the ledge and slammed my body into the cement roof.

I turned toward him, and stared at him. Sadness smothered his face, and as I stood there by the door, cracking my knuckles and chewing on my bottom lip until it bled, he slowly walked over to me.

“I don’t care about that, and I don’t care about what you think I am. I want to talk to you. I-I kind of need to talk to you. Just, just stay for a cup of tea, at least.” His eyes were huge, “Please?” he practically begged, and as I looked into his sad eyes, the way they pleaded with me to just stay, I looked down and nodded.

With a small smile, he grabbed my hand and waked me over to the couch and turned the huge flat screen television on. Muttering he would be right back, I sat on the couch and shook my head, still unable to comprehend what was going on.

I must still be dreaming. I must still be on the roof. I couldn’t be speaking to him. I knew what kind of luck I had, what kind of people I would talk to. Abusive, negative, deranged people. Those were the only people that would talk to me, make me tea, or ask about me. Not him.

Not anyone like him.

“It’s lavender, I hope you don’t mind”, he handed me a mug with small lines of steam coming off of the brownish water. As I shook my head, he sat down right next to me on the couch and took a small sip from his mug.

“Thank you”, I whispered.

He turned to me, half of his face covered by the mug. Nodding, me pulled the mug from his face and sucked in a deep breath.

“Thank you for staying, Maddie.” He gave me a small smile that melted my heart.

When he turned back towards the television, I felt my body melt into a puddle.

I must be dreaming.