Chapter Ten

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“I have to take this call, I’ll be right back, okay?” Kane excused himself as he got up from the couch and headed out toward the balcony. Once he slid the door shut behind him, cutting him off from the rest of the apartment, Jon turned toward me, and with sad devastated eyes, pulled me into him.

Instead of speaking, he just held me, my head resting against his chest, his slow heartbeat filling my head like a sad rhythmic lullaby. His hands didn’t move from the spots on my arms, and his chin rested lightly on the top of my head. The silence made me want to cry. It made me want to scream and yell and thrash against him, but as I inhaled and exhaled, listening to his damaged heart, I held it all in.

I may have loved Jon, and the safety that he gave me, but I really didn’t know him that well. Sure, over the month or so that we had been talking on, I learned a lot about him, and him about me, but we never once touched on the past relationship portion of our lives. He had no idea I had an ex, and I had no idea that he had a trail of fuck buddies.

Cringing, I pushed myself away from Jon and sucked in a deep breath, trying to talk myself out of crying and making a scene. “Madison, can we please talk when Kane leaves?” His voice was low and faltered as I moved away from him, his hand slowly falling off of the soft shirt wrapped around my torso.

“Sure.” I replied simply and quickly took a piece of my sushi and shoved it in my mouth, trying to make an excuse to not talk to him anymore. As I chewed, I hoped that Patrick would walk back through those doors and lighten the mood again, make both of us forget how awkward it was between us now, but as I swallowed the piece, he was still absent.

We sat there with a large gap between us for another five minutes before Patrick came back in and quickly took the last two pieces of his sushi and shoved them in his mouth. Chewing them quickly, he grabbed his water bottle and flashed Jon and I a wide, devilish smile.

Leaning over to me, and kissing my forehead, he gave me a huge smile and then a short wave to Jon. “I have been summoned by a female that I am quite attracted too, thanks for the food, I’ll see you both very soon.” Kane said quickly as he slipped into his shoes and then grabbed his things from the table near the door. “I’ll text ya later, Tazer.” He called and then sent me a wink and shut the front door. As his loud footsteps faded down the hall, Jon leaned back into the couch and covered his face with his hands.

As he sat there, I quickly grabbed my plate and glass and brought it to the sink. Once I carefully set it down in the stainless steal basin, I tip toed down the hall and into the spare bedroom where my things were set up. Closing the door behind me, I let out a deep breath I didn’t realize I was holding and quickly made my way to the bed and laid down on it, my face pressed into an oversized pillow.

It felt like hours of me lying there before there was a small knock on the door. As I picked my head off of the bed, and slowly turned toward the door, my head spun, and my stomach knotted tightly. I knew who it was, and I knew what we were going to end up talking about, but it still scared me. I didn’t want to know about Jon’s previous sexual escapades, and I really didn’t want to hear him beg me to understand that it helped him when he was feeling down.

Jon opened the door before I could talk myself up to moving off of the bed. When he took a step in, and saw me sitting on the bed, eyes downcast onto the floor, he sighed heavily and quickly walked over to me and pulled me into a tight hug.

The smell, the tee shirt, and the strong arms didn’t comfort me like they used to, and it scared me. “I know that was the last thing you ever needed to hear, Madison, but I want you to understand that I would never leave you for anyone else. I love you, and I would give up anything to keep you here.”

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