Highkey Dodgy :Erisol:

Chapter 5: Wednesday (Act Two)

"I cant believe you've never had McDonaldth," Sollux commented as they climbed out of the car and walked toward the fabled fast food place. Eridan just sort of shrugged.

"My family think it's for peasants and those low-wer on the social hierarchy," he said casually, looking through the windows with a wrinkled nose. It seemed dirty and greasy, and he wasn't sure whether that seemed welcoming or just gross.

"You're kidding."

Eridan turned to Sollux, who had a hand on the door and a frown on his face, and blinked. "No?"

"Oh my fucking god. Come on, you need thome fucking junk food. Dont tell me you've never had any junk food."

The door was pushed open, and Eridan blinked at the wall of warmth and noise that washed over him, scuttling in behind Sollux. "Not really. Like I said, my family say it's for peasants. I don't eat junk."

"Well, you're with a Captor right now, and Captorth eat junk. What taketh your fancy?"

Eridan took a moment to blink at the bright screens displaying the menu, looking at everything around him as he did so. Man, regular people looked like they had fun. Why had Karkat never taken him to places like this? Oh, right, because he was a massive asshole who always refused plans.

He suddenly remembered Sollux was waiting for him to say something, watching him expectantly, and he panicked and picked the first thing with something he liked. "Filet-o-fish...?"

Sollux stared at him like he just grew a second head. "Fuck, no. I'm ordering you thomething actually good."

They crawled forwards in the queue, Eridan slowly getting anxious that somehow his parents would find out he was there and punish him for it. What if they banned him from talking to Sollux? Then not only would he not have a fake boyfriend, he'd lose the crush he was slowly making friends with.

Eventually they reached the counter, and the person behind it was so short they appeared to be on tiptoes to look taller, which made Eridan smile. Karkat did that a lot.

"Two Big Mac mealth, two coketh, and I'll have the athhole cashier if he feelth like going out thometime," Sollux said, jokingly flirtatious, and Eridan felt a twinge of something that was possibly jealousy. He glanced at the cashier.

"You're so full of shit, Captor." came the scratchy response, and Eridan almost choked on air. He knew he recognised that tiptoeing and the shock of ginger hair sticking in all directions from the cap.

"I didnt know-w you w-worked here, Kar!" Eridan said in genuine surprise, and Karkat turned to him in shock, as though he hadn't noticed him standing there.

"You brought fucking Ampora with you? Gee, and here I thought you couldn't drag any more of your fucking friends into unhealthy eating habits, you cocksucking piece of-" Karkat glanced behind him, and Eridan got the feeling he wasn't supposed to swear on the job. He could only imagine how well that went for Redhead McShouty. Turning back, visibly redder, Karkat returned to a sullen tone. "I mean, thats ten dollars and seventy-five cents."

Sollux smirked wide and tipped an imaginary hat, pulling out his wallet and going to pay, but before he could put his card in the machine, Eridan grabbed his wrist.

"I'll pay!" he said with an awkward smile that he hoped didnt look condescending. "I mean, you show-wed me to this place, the least I can do is pay..." His voice trailed off as Sollux looked at him in amused disbelief.

"ED, it'th ten dollarth. I can manage." He shoved his card into the machine and punched in his pin, turning to Eridan again. "Bethideth, McDonaldth ithn't exactly the motht romantic firtht date, tho you can pay when we go on our proper firtht candlelit dinner, dumbath."