Presque Vu

Chapter 8

    Raina tried to stick to her normal routine for the next few days. She resisted calling Shannon right back and instead put the finishing touches on her final project for the semester, studied, and kept Val from having meltdowns. She didn't tell Cassie about the call from Jared, wanting to avoid that conversation. She did, however, add the entire 30 Seconds to Mars collection to her workout playlist. She had heard a few songs over the years but had never really paid them much attention. She regretted that now as she found she was actually very fond of their music. She loved having Jared's voice in her ear as she hit the elliptical and hearing Shannon in the background. It also gave her time to think.

Every time she and Jared connected it quickly ended up being about sex. They had barely exchanged a few sentences with each other before he kissed her the first time. They were in bed together after one dinner, and the one telephone conversation she'd had with him had lasted maybe five minutes before it devolved into phone sex. Heat and chemistry were great, but what if nothing else ever developed? Even if the sex was amazing. Every time they talked they both shied away from anything deep.

Shannon, on the other hand, seemed to inspire something different in her. She had loved talking with him in the cafe almost as much as she had liked kissing him on the beach. There was chemistry there too, but it was different. She wanted to talk to him, to tell him things, to pick his brain. Even with him though, she had resisted any deeper emotional connection.

She knew she was risking a lot by juggling the two of them. But she wanted them both, equally, for different reasons. She hoped she would have time for things to play out enough that she could make a clear decision before everything came crashing down on her. She knew she was fast running out of time.

Tuesday morning before heading into work she decided enough time had passed and she sent Shannon a text, letting him know she really enjoyed their date and that she hoped they would be able to get together again soon. He texted back around lunchtime wanting to go for drinks that night. She hesitated, knowing that Jared was returning that day, but he hadn't actually asked her to make any plans for Tuesday, just told her he would be back. Who even knew when he was due to arrive? Surely he wouldn't want to go out that same night. She decided to make the gamble and made plans to meet Shannon for drinks.

He had shown up late, again, but at least this time Raina was expecting it. What she wasn't expecting was the leather pants and jacket that made her pulse race before he even reached the table. He looks as good in leather as Jared does with his shirt off, Raina thought. He gave her a light kiss before sitting down.

"Wow, you look amazing," he told her appreciatively. "Sorry I'm late again."

Raina just shrugged. "I was kind of expecting it this time. You look great too, by the way. Love the leather."

He was as engaging and charming as that afternoon at the cafe, and before she was aware of it once again hours had passed. She realized, however, she was mostly talking about nothing. In truth, Cassie was the only person she had allowed herself to connect with since moving out to California last year. It had taken months of working next to her before she really felt comfortable opening up. It was unsurprising that she was having the same difficulty with Jared and Shannon, but for the first time in a while, she wanted it to be different. She tried to think of something to say, some way to breach that divide, but it had been so long she didn't even know how to go about it. Soon Shannon's chatter gave her a window.

"So, I kind of want to ask you something but I don't want to sound like 'that guy' or anything. It's okay if you don't want to answer."

Raina smiled, she was pretty sure she knew what was coming. Most people asked when they got comfortable enough. "Does it have to do with my parentage?"