:[march to the sea]:

|||||ten|||||

J O S H

"D-did-"

"I saw your wrist. I just wanted to see it again, because some of them didn't look too good. Don't worry Ty, I can't blame you for it. I would've killed my self already if i was in your position. I'm not gonna judge you." I assure him.

He hesitates before rolling up his sleeves. There's so many. I can barely see a spot on his arm that isn't just scar tissue or scabs. Some are vertical, some are horizontal, some diagonal. Tyler hides his face in my chest and sobs.

"Tyler, baby, some of these look infected." I cringe at myself for letting the 'baby' slip.

"I-I-I'm s-s-sorry" he sobs. His words are muffled since he's hiding his face against me. I pull him impossibly tighter.

"Can I help you clean some of them up?" I ask quietly. His sobs are getting quieter and less heart breaking.

"I don't care" he gets out between cries. I pick him up bridal style, which is easy considering how light he is. I make sure he's still pressed against me tightly as I take him into the bathroom. I sit him on the counter. There's just enough room for him to fit without being in the sink. I pull out antiseptic and gauze.

"Ty, please know you don't need to do this to yourself. You're beautiful, you don't need to hide your body behind scar tissue. I'll always be here to clean you up when you need me to, but I really wish you'd stop. You don't deserve to be constantly suffering. You're already in pain mentally, you don't need to hurt physically too." I explain to him. I really do love him, whether it's just as a friend or more than that. I can't believe he thinks he deserves what he's done to himself.

"You don't know how much that means to me, but you also don't understand. No one will understand, just trust me I when I say I had this all coming. I can try to stop, but I don't know if I'll be able to. You don't need to fix me up, I caused this. You shouldn't have to take care of me when it's my fault. I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me. I meant it when I told you I love you. I'm sorry you had to see me through all the times I was a different person. I'm sorry for all the times you saw me at my most vulnerable. I'm sorry our friendship is almost completely just you doing me favors. You're such a beautiful person, I almost wonder if you even exist. No ones ever done this much for me, it's surreal. I promise when I get a little more mentally stable, I'll pay you back somehow. Pay you back for all the times you've comforted me and told me I'm beautiful and perfect. For all the times you've dealt with my other personas. You mean so much to me, Josh. And all I can do is say thank you."

"Tyler Robert Joseph, I have nothing to say." I pull him off of the counter and back into my arms. He giggles.

"Can we lay down? 'M tired" he says into my shoulder. I walk over to my bed and sit down with him in my lap.

"Pajamas?" I suggest. He just groans and rolls over. "Oh come on, sleeping in skinny jeans sucks ass."

"But you're comfy." He protests. I huff.

"Guess I'll just have to throw you off of me then."

"You wouldn't."

"I would." I pick him up and get ready to toss him. He squeals.

"Ok ok! I'll put on your stupid clothes!" We both laugh while we stand up.

"Sweatpants and Tshirt good?" He nods and I toss him black sweatpants and a plain blue tshirt. He walks into the bathroom to get changed while I put on my white muscle tee and basket ball shorts. I sigh, sitting down on my bed waiting for Tyler to come back out.

I don't even know if he's gay. I'll have to find out. It should be pretty obvious that I like him, since I compliment him all the time and stuff. Or maybe he doesn't know I'm doing that because I really like him. He's never had a friend before apparently.

Tyler walks out of the bathroom and immediately jumps onto my bed. I laugh at him as his body flops onto my mattress.

"Fuck, whiplash." He winces, but starts laughing anyways. I pull him closer to me and he curls against my side. "You're warm." He wraps his arms around me.

"You're adorable." I coo, taking in his smooth features while his eyes are closed.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." He mumbles into my torso. I laugh and grab my phone, snapping a picture. He opens his eyes then.

"Really?" I laugh again, wrapping my arm around the fragile boy. I open my messages on my phone.

"Oh yeah, do you know who Brendon Urie is?" I ask.

"Aren't you two friends?"

"Mhm. Well he wants to know if you and I wanna go hang out with him and a few of his other friends tomorrow."

"Sure, if you're going." He runs his hand up my chest.

"Ok, I'll tell him we're coming. We can leave whenever you want." I send Brendon a text to tell him we'll be there.

"Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"I feel like I know nothing about you, but you know like everything about me."

"Oh well, my names Joshua William Dun, I'm 17 an-"

"Idiot, I meant like you know some of my biggest secrets but I don't know anything about you." He elaborates.

"Want me to tell you some secrets?" I infer.

"Yes please." He mumbles.

"Ok well first off, I'm bi. Also I'm completely infatuated by this Tyler kid that's currently laying on my bed with me and I can't take my eyes off of him." I tell him. Neither of which were very big secrets, but it's a start.

"Love you too joshy. My turn; ok so I'm a flaming homosexual, but hetero isn't too bad either. Also if I tell you something can you promise not to tell anyone else ever?" Hallelujah, he's bi too.

"Of course little tyjo."

"Ok I've never told anyone this before, but I actually kinda like wearing girl clothes every once in a while. Is that bad?" He admits, looking up at me.

"No ty, that's perfectly ok. And I actually think girl clothes are flattering on you." I tell him. He lets out a breath he must've been holding.

"When I was a kid I would always steal my sisters clothes and wear them around our house but my mom told me it was wrong and disgusting. But when I was institutionalized, there was this boy there that would always wear dresses and he said it was fine to wear whatever clothes you want. I just don't like wearing those clothes in public." He rants. I tighten my grip around him a little.

"You can wear whatever you want whenever you want and I'll stand by your decision no matter what."

"Thank you" he squeezes me a little before relaxing again.

a/n this is all prewritten and somehow i thought this story was amazing when i was writing it lmao