Marked

Chapter 26

My heart was beating in my ears, it felt as if time slowed but in reverse, my breathing accelerated. There was sweat covering the palms of my hands. Marcus' derisive attitude set me off completely, this was the boy that said he loved me but I couldn't quite recognize him anymore. I felt a weight fall heavy on my chest. I looked at Terrence his face was completely frozen, his eyes focused on the barrel of the gun. His gaze was serious, but deep down he seemed like a trapped animal in line for slaughter.

"Not so brave now huh?" Marcus said derisively. Slowly he lowers the gun with a smirk consequently breaking out in to a laughing fit whilst putting the gun in the bak of his jeans. "Got you there for a second didn't I?" He emited between laughs, disavowing his previous actions.

"You are laughing?!" I screamed, my ears rang with the rage that flowed from my heart. I couldn't believe he was being serious with this or how he actually thought it was funny.

"What?" his tone was indignant, "Come on Sky can't you see I was kidding?" he shrugged as if letting go of the blame.

"No, I can't" I berated him, "How dare you point it at Terrence-" I gestured towards where he was standing only to realize that he wasn't there anymore. I eyed him with a surly glance.

"Oh come on we are better off without him and you know it Skylar" his voice was loud and proud, "you know I'm more than enough for keeping you safe" he stood un straight as if to prove his point, but all I could do was roll my eyes in disdain.

"I'm going to look for him" I started, "and please, just, don't follow me". I turned around and set of into a jog, the grass bending under my feet. I turned around, only to see an empty path without me and then just kept on going as I let out a breath of relief.

My jog reduced to a walk as I began to analyze my surroundings. It dawned on me that I had no idea as to how to track him or even a slight hint of where to look. All I could see was tall trees, grass, and bushes. I knew there was more to see and an agglomeration of things that I ached to feel but everything just seemed mashed up and undistinguished. I looked up to the sky aching to sense the sun's rays on my skin but all that there was is a hollow cold feeling that seeped into my bones.

Theres was a part of me then, that ached to feel everything but I was also petrified to have all the anger, sadness and frustration in me and not be able to control it. I didn't want to be consumed by what I felt, but it it was also killing me to not feel anything at all and then there was Terrence and the petrification in his eyes, how could he handle feeling so much? How did he not just cower away from pain? The thought of feeling like he must have made a chill go down my spine, he shouldn't be alone not after what happened.

I analyzed my surroundings again, maybe sacrificing a little pain for his sake would be worth it. Just until the moment I found him. I closed my eyes, and focused on the veil. Imagined it as a blanket slowly being pulled of my head. Muffled noises slowly became clearer, I could regain the sense of air flowing through my fingertips like a soft caress. I could smell the freshness of the air, as it flowed gently into my lungs and in the distance I heard water, flowing rapidly downhill. In that moment I knew exactly where to go, how I did was something I couldn't exactly pin down but I was completely sure he would be there.

As I started walking my senses were overwhelmed by smells, colors as much as my heart was with feelings. All the numbness was gone and the moment it did all these thoughts crashed into me like tsunami waves. My biggest fear being if I were to drown beneath them. I tried to push my thoughts aside but just like tides they kept on rising. Marcus had said he loved me, but my heart was unsure of truly possessing that feeling, then there was anger on how he had just decided to act. He might not like Terrence very much but he went to far with his joke. I felt pain for Terrence and yearning to find him, with every step I took I felt myself closer to his presence.

I could feel the rushing water, pulling some bushes aside I could se a stream flowing from a small waterfall. It's water was crystal clear, as it flowed it shone like mirrors when caught in the light. I was taken aback by the beauty that my heart went still. This place was lively and filled with color and in any other situation I could have just passed by it without acknowledging how amazing it was.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I hear a voice say in the distance. "The is much more vivid when you're unveiled, makes you wonder why someone would ever willingly put it on." His voice was calm and quiet, nearly drowned out by the rushing water. Still I knew it was him, I knew it was Terrence.

"There's beauty, yeah" I muttered as I searched for him, "but theres also so much pain, among other things" I scanned the area only to fin him nearest to the base of the waterfall, his feet submerged into the stream, "sometimes it just seems easier to avoid feeling everything all at once".

I walked to him slowly, sadness engulfed me. It felt so overpowering and I could help but see myself as prone to breaking. To feel or not to feel, its to chose everything or nothing. I sat down next to him, holding my knees to my chest, I felt a pang of pain within me. A part of me felt that holding myself together physically would keep me from internally falling apart.

"I'm sorry, for what Marcus did" I ushered out expecting him to react but his eyes stayed focused on the stream. "He really shouldn't have done that, I bet he wasn't thinking, he-"

"isn't like that?" Terrence interrupted me, stealing the words right from my mouth, "he would never mean to?" he mocked, as he looked up up at me I could she anger flashing in the red rim of his iris. "You are defending a person you done even know, someone who has the guts to point a gun at someone and laugh afterwards, can't you see that's wrong?" he screamed in exasperation, his fists were deeply sunk in the dirt and his breathing was ragged and rapid.

I felt guilt wash over me, within I had the impulse to cry. I deserved it, everything every part of me knew I was wrong to defend Marcus but none wanted to accept it. I couldn't bare to look at him anymore so I looked into the water, only to find my reflection. My hair was blowing in the wind as it usually did, but it had a strange shine on it. My eyes still felt shocked at the look of my skin, it was still slightly pale, but what caught my attention were the swirls and patterns that I was yet to decipher. My eyes, were a kaleidoscope of color, but edges of my iris were a dull blue. Someone had once told me that the eyes where a window to the soul and at moment nothing felt more true, because I could see my sadness reflected onto them.

"I'm sorry" I said, still not daring to look at him in the eyes, for he would know what I felt by seeing into them. "I cant excuse what he did, I truly am sorry".

"It's not easy to feel" Terrence said calmly "but I take an overwhelming sadness any day over numbness, I prefer knowing who I am and what got me here than before ignoring everything that built me."

"Sometimes feelings are too much"

"Sometimes feelings are everything, but its a part of who we are. When we feel we do it completely, but this is because we are connected to the world" I looked up to Terrence just to catch him staring, he shied away the moment he saw I noticed. I could help the blush that crept on my cheeks. "Sadness, its does suck" he said with a feeble laugh, "but happiness, when it comes to you there is nothing worth more than that".

Words started flowing out of my mouth before I could stop, as I stared into the water I could find a way to stop myself. "But feeling can break you, I don't think that five seconds of happiness could compensate for a minute of misery, because once it creeps over its hard to see a way out of it. Lights dim, it's all darkness and theres no tunnel to scape out of just an endless pit of self destruction." People are like glass, I thought, they can shatter and break. Can you really replace a soul once its been broken?

"But you can be stronger than the demons that haunt you" Terrence countered.

"How do you know?" In a way I doubted there was a light once you entered the tunnel, but on the other hand I yearned for one so badly.

"Because I have been inside that tunnel, more times that I wish I had. Me being here is just evidence that you can survive the darkest moments of your life. Skylar, do you see this mark here?" he slid the neck of his shirt down his shoulder, exposing one of his marks. In contrast to his tan skin the swirl of lines were slightly lighter against his skin. On his shoulder there were two leafs in a pond with an essence flowing out of them.

"A morpher can show another, the story behind their mark if they choose to" he went on, "If you put your hand on my scars I will be able to show you, the story of one of the worst moments of my life".