Memories Of The Past (ATTACK ON TITAN)

Chapter 15

Im sorry for such a late update, and such a small chapter!
But lets get on to the story!
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I try to shift myself so my ribs are in less pain, but moving just makes it worse. I muffle a scream as my arms buckle and I hit the ground. I gasp as I roll, laying on my back and facing the roof. Erwin shoves Armin and Mikasa aside and props me against his chest, clearing my airway. I wheeze, my lungs filling with air for what seems like the first time in forever. I collapse against Erwin, my energy quickly dissipating.

“Just breathe, Eren.” Erwin murmurs.

How can they look at me, let alone help me? I’m a monster. They must pity me a lot... But what about Levi? Was his love an act of pity? Was our relationship all a lie? It must of been. Who could love me?

Silent tears stream down my face.

Everyone looks at me in bewilderment, I was fine a moment ago. Well maybe not fine. But I wasn’t bawling my eyes out hysterically. I grip onto Erwin, making him an anchor in my tornado of emotions. Erwin numbly wraps his arms around my waist being careful of my ribs, as he says comforting words in my ear, trying to soothe me.

If only he knew I was shattered.
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After crying myself into a restless sleep, after hours upon hours of nightmares, I finally wake up.

I moan as I pick myself up off the ground, resting my back against the wall. Armin rushes towards me, only to get stopped by Erwin whispering something in his ear. Armin nods back at Erwin, before walking to me again.

“Hey,” Armin says cautiously.

“Hey,” I croak back.

“How do you feel?”

“Like a titan ate me and then spat me back out,” I reply. I know what it feels like to be eaten by a titan, and the pain of being tortured is pretty similar.

“That bad?” He asks. I only nod in return.

“Mikasa?”

“Mikasa’s asleep,” Armin suddenly hugged me out of the blue.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. No one deserves to go through what you went through,” he sobs.

I smile softly. “Its okay Armin, it wasn’t your fault,” I sigh softly. “It was mine”

Armin pulls back in shock, which then quickly turns to anger.

Then he slaps me.

“Don’t you ever say anything like that again! It was not your fault, it was Brad’s. Or Kenny’s, or Grisha’s! In what world would it be your fault?” I open my mouth to respond, rubbing my red cheek.

“Do not answer that!” He shouts, “Why do you always blame yourself?! It wasn’t your fault when your mother died and it isn’t your fault now. Why do you do this to yourself?”

“Because I’m a monster!”