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WARNING: longer chapter ahead...

11:45 pm

"...he-"

"Hello-o?"

"oh. It's you again".

"You say that like it's a bad thing".

"It is".

"According to my friends, I'm a genuinely funny guy! People love being around me, trust me".

"Wow, that's harsh..."

"What d'you mean by that?"

"These people lied to you twice. The first saying you were funny; the second saying they were your friends".

"Excuse me! They are not lies! I am extremely funny and they really are my friends! Everyone who's met me or spoken to me likes me, I assure you".

"I'm jealous..."

"Of what? My awesomeness? Don't worry, you'll get used to it but for now, just soak it all in-".

"No, I mean I'm jealous of the people who haven't met you yet".

"..."

"Was I too awesome I made you speechless? Don't worry, you'll get used to it but for now, just soak it all in".

"I thought we were friends? I swear my heart just broke right there-"

"-along with your huge ego".

"Yeah, that's true, to be honest with you-"

"And also your so-called 'man-pride'".

"Okay, okay I get-".

"Don't forget your dignity".

"OKAY, I GET IT, WOMAN! Geez..."

"Whoops, someone lost their cool for a moment".

"Shut up, you idiot".

"You wound me".

"Whatever".

"Look, why are you even calling?"

"I dunno. Bored I guess".

"Glad to be your entertainment, M'lord".

"I sense sarcasm..."

"Oh, really?"

"Well, I certainly wasn't being sarcastic".

"I'm getting mixed vibes here..."

"Why on earth so?"

"I'm confused as to whether you're being sarcastic or not..."

"OF COURSE I'M BEING SARCASTIC, DOOFUS!"

"Geez, bro!"

"I'm a girl, you twat!"

"Again with the insults br-... brah..?"

"That doesn't make it any better".

"I'm trying okay! Just let me think!"

"Aw...don't think too much that your tiny brain can't handle it, brah".

"Why're you so mean?"

"...easier than being the opposite I guess. And anyway, that was me being nice and considerate, you imbecile. I was taking that pea you call a brain into consideration".

"That was you being nice?!"

"Yeah, you better feel honoured because it's a rare occurrence that I'm actually acting nice- oh, and don't get used to it".

"Noted".

"You better not, fool".

"I feel like you're just calling me an idiot in different ways".

"Finally! You caught on! I've got more if you want".

"...I'm gonna regret this but.. go ahead, why not?"

"Okay, halfwit, nincompoop, blockhead, dunce, cretin, moron, simpleton, my personal favourite one is ass-"

"Okay, yeah. I definitely regret it".

"-goon, dum-dum, twerp-"

"You can stop now-"

"-clown, dummy, half-wit, dork, numbskull-"

"Can y-"

"-ninny, dipstick, asshat-"

"I GET IT NOW SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"Mr Awesome lost his cool- again".

"I'm rolling my eyes right now".

"I'm shrugging right now".

"I'm crossing my arms right now".

"I'm flipping you the 'special' finger right now".

"I'm gasping right now!"

"I'm not giving two craps right now".

"I'm grumbling right now".

"I'm hanging up right now".

"I'm- wait, what?! No!"

"..."

"She did it again".

"..."

"Well goodbye to you, too".

Call ended.

11:58 pm

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

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