perfection

chapter 3: her

I walk out of the supermarket with an apple chupa chup dissolving in my mouth, I scowl and use my back teeth to crunch the remaining bits of the sugary candy.

My job fucking sucked, but I couldn't do anything about it nonetheless because I didn't want to keep depending on my parents for money.

I was also not to fond of the thought of being homeless.

Also the fact that I wasn't pretty enough to be a sugar baby also kind of sucked.

I fished out another lollipop out of my jacket pocket, another lollipop falling with it, I squat down and squint at the lollipop on the floor then back at the one in my hand.

Coca Cola or Strawberries and Cream.

I stare harder at the candy on the floor then switch back to glaring at the one in my hand.

A massive crunching noise makes me look back down at the floor so fast my head almost snaps, I sigh heavily looking at the flattened pink mush on a stick.

Had the gods decided on Coca Cola?

"Alice?"

I freeze.

I wasn't too sure if I wanted to look up.

I wasn't too sure if I had the will to look up to the face of death himself.

The all-too familiar smell of bar soap and lemon is giving me a headache.

"Was I wrong or..?"

I inwardly cringe and glance upwards at the devil.

A smile lights up his whole oh-so beautiful face and he opens his mouth to say something, "I knew it was you Alice."

The side of my face twitches.

What a fucking waste of a good lollipop.

I smile, my cheeks tingling from the sensation, "Noah, I haven't seen you in a while how have you been?"

I almost drag out his name so I could sound even more sarcastic than I already do.

I almost- almost burst out laughing because I couldn't care less about how he'd been doing this past year, I had been so obsessed with him and seeing him still hurt.

He smiles and it doesn't look quite the same.

It wasn't the same smile I had fallen in love with.

Maybe I was just searching for something familiar, something that we had when we were together.

I told myself again, that it had been a year.

My hair wasn't even the same color, I was a dropout, we had broken up, I was working some place new.

But Noah still felt so familiar, his presence was comforting.

I wondered if he searched for me in things.

I wonder if he searched for me in the stars, or in the moon, or the cold morning air.

I wonder if he searched for me in loud things like the traffic, in the city lights, or the crowded streets.

I wonder if his house still smelt like cinnamon and me.

I wondered if he still missed me.

"Alice?"

"Oh sorry, you were saying?" I splutter stupidly.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asks with a soft voice, like I was just about to break down crying on how much I missed him.

I wasn't that fucking pathetic.

I glance back down at my fallen pink soldier on a stick.

No, I wasn't okay.

"I'm good, just a little worried about Virgo stuck at my house waiting for me." I can feel the plastic wrapper on the coca cola lollipop digging into my palm.

A lie- Virgo was at her own house with her little sister, probably playing Uno or something along the lines of that.

I didn't want to spend any longer with Noah , I felt like I was being pathetic brat because I was wallowing in my little break up that happened to happen half a year ago.

I needed to move the hell on.

Noah looks down at the squashed 2nd cousin of strawberry shortcake- on a stick and winces,"Yeah, sorry about your lollipop, you want me to get you another one? I'll be fast so no worries about Virgo."

I shake my head and smile, flashing my one awkwardly placed dimple,"Its cool, I have like a billion more in my pocket."

The Coca Cola wrapper digs further into my palm.

He smiles, his pale green eyes catching the light,"I'll make it up to you- the lollipop I mean."

I nod and turn away, not wanting my eyes to wander to the girl behind him.

I was afraid that I might feel a tinge of jealousy, and that tinge could ruin me.

I don't care if I still like Noah or not, it wasn't for me to decide who he chose, and I wasn't about to alter his decision.

I preferred to stay a child with my dyed hair, the kaleidoscope and the fifty lollipops in my pocket.

I wasn't ready for another relationship.

I wanted to be like water.

Or like happiness

Transparent and constantly slipping through my fingers.

A/N:

( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

this whole chapter was like an ad for lollipops jesus, i felt so repetitive, i have never typed the word coca cola so many times in my life.