Where is she

Where is she - chapter 11

                  It's Sunday now the day of V's funeral. I wake up an hour and a half before time to go. I put on a black dress V helped me pick out for her birthday party this month. She was having a black tie party now it's just a funeral. She was turning 15.  Was! Was! Was! It can't be past tense. Maybe it wasn't her in the woods. Their was no tattoo. No this is me in denial I can't keep thinking she's alive.
                    After I put on my dress I slide on black flats and put on red lipstick. V always wore red lipstick. I really didn't want my scar showing so I pulled a piece of hair over the stitches and bobby pined it in.
                     At the funeral the pastor talked about someone but not V. He talked about the V her parents knew the way she acted around family. He talked about the child of God she was. But that's not true away from her family she didn't know what she believed in.
                      I walked up to give my eulogy. As I walked to the front off the room my knees felt as if they'd buckle. My legs were shaking. I wanted to cry but I don't think I have any tears left. So I took deep breaths and stared at the audience of grieves. As I looked at every one mourning V I knew it wasn't real. She couldn't be dead that wasn't V in the woods. But I didn't say that I knew if I kept saying it I would by put in a mental hospital. And I'm the only one who knows she's still out their, who's gonna find her if she's still in the looney bin.
                       "Um..." I took a deep even breath.
" Most of you know her as Veronica Jude Edison . You know her as a young, polite, responsible, young lady. You knew her as a young adult who was going to grow up to be a cardo surgeon like her father. You knew a girl who played the cello and made all A's. But that wasn't her. We were V and C. So I knew a V y'all didn't know for starters her name. She wasn't polite she was loud mouth, sarcastic, rude person. She wanted to grow up and sing, act, and model all the fixings she wanted glitz and glam. She wanted travel. She didn't care about grades and she hated the cello. She acted like she loved her life but she didn't. She would come to me crying about all the pressure her perfect family had on her. She always said she knew she wasn't like her parents like I told her that's a good thing. But I just want to say thank you V for showing me how to be outspoken and to take no crap. For never letting me alone. For being my 2nd half, my living diary. Thank you for being my best friend. But what do I do know I don't know how to be alone. I don't..." I take deep breaths so I don't cry. I start saying words very weakly. " I don't know how to be alone. I...I don't know how. I...I can't be alone I need you V." Breath breath. I start crying. I take a deep breath. " If it was Monday again I would say V don't go to the store. Let's go home and just eat ice cream anything. Or I would have said V I'm going with you my brothers will be fine." Tears flow down my cheeks. " V even though theirs a 99% chance that your the one in that casket. I'm holding on to that one percent." I'm crying and yelling. V's mom is crying harder now. People are rolling their eyes and shaking their head in disapproval, but I don't care V is not dead." I'm sorry but V is not dead! And I'm not giving up." I scream through tears.
My dad comes up grabs my hand and takes me to the car. I'm gasping and crying . My brothers are in the two middle seats already guess they didn't want to see me having a mental episode. I lay down in the 3rd row bench seats. As we're driving away I see her head stone it says Veronica Jude Edison. Under neath her name it says 'Gone to soon' it also says 2/27/02 - 2/22/-17. Wrong! She's not gone! What will they do with the stranger in her casket when I find her?