Song of the chapter- kiss me by ed sheeran
Allison-
When every girl in every story explains how a kiss is supposed to feel I never imagined it to be something like this.
This is wrong. I need to pull away. I need to stop myself.
But I don't.
His lips moved against mine, exploring my mouth so gently. I tried to mimic his movements--slowly, uncertainly, until I didn't have to think about it at all. It just felt right. He let out a soft moan at my reaction and cupped his hands behind my head, pulling me closer until I couldn't tell where my mouth ended and his began. A liquid sensation swooped throughout my stomach. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever felt and it kept growing, the vibrating heat expanding outward.
Our lips continue to move against each others as he pulls me closer. The feeling of his body pressed against mine is indescribably amazing. I placed my hand on the back of his neck and tugged at his hair. I don't know why I wanted him closer.
You know that moment in almost every cliche love story the girl says how she feels butterflies erupt in her stomach, well it's more like fire has been lit inside you. Everywhere his hands go, they leave a fiery trail behind leaving a pleasurably burning sensation.
All of a sudden my phones starts ringing making me want to smash it against a wall.
I reluctantly pull away to answer it.
"Hello" my voice comes out a moan as he decides to leave a trail of kisses along my neck
"Ally are you busy? You said you were going to call me tonight" it's Spencer.
"Spenc I'm so sorry, I just lost track of time" I say. I bite my lip as I tried to contain any moans as Harry's lips continue to kiss along my neck and collarbone.
"Just call me back when you can, ok? It's kinda important." She says with a tone that almost sounds scared.
"Ok" is all I say before the line went dead and his lips are back on mine.
"Harry I have to go" I say even though I don't want to.
"No" I hear him whisper. His lips make their way under my ear. I smile at his playfulness.
"Harry" I whine like a little child as he sighs.
"Fine" he gets up and off of me as he pulls me on my feet.
"Do you want me to drive you home?" He keeps a close proximity as he speaks.
"No, my car is not far from here" I say as he nods. I start to walk away but he pulls me back by my wrist and kisses me so deeply and slow that i felt like I was falling, floating, spiraling down like if I was Alice in Wonderland.
"Bye Allison" he says against my lips. I smile. It feels nice hearing my name coming from him.
"Bye" I say back before walking towards the direction of my car.
-
I arrived at home 20 minutes later and it was already pitch black outside. Knowing my father wouldn't be home today I didn't have to worry about coming home late.
I entered my room and threw myself on my bed. Looking up at the ceiling as my fingers grazed my lips that not too long ago were pressed against his forcefully. I don't know what it is, but he makes me want to knock down all the walls I've put up and let him inside. And it scares the shit out of me.
I shake my head trying to get rid of the feeling.
This has to stop. I can't feel this way. Falling in love is very real, but I used to shake my head when people talked about soul mates, poor deluded individuals grasping at some supernatural ideal not intended for mortals but sounded pretty in a poetry book. I used think love was just a myth people wanted to feel after what happened to me. Falling in love has made me think that people do not fall in love; they fall in love with the idea of themselves being in love. To be honest I think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them that no one else gets to see. I don't know, like if you followed them around invisibly for a day and you saw them crying in their bed at night or singing to themselves as they make breakfast or even just walking along the street and even if they were really weird , I think after seeing them at their most vulnerable you wouldn't be able to help falling in love with them.I ponder the thought of me feeling something with Harry. Then I think Falling in love is not an act of will. It is not a conscious choice. No matter how open to or eager for it we may be, the experience may still elude us. the experience may capture us at times when we are definitely not seeking it, when it is inconvenient and not wanted. We are as likely to fall in love with someone with whom we are obviously ill matched as with someone more suitable. We may not even like or admire the object of our passion, yet, try as we might, we may not be able to fall in love with a person whom we deeply respect and with whom a deep relationship would be in all ways desirable. This is not to say that the experience of falling in love is immune to discipline. Psychiatrists, for example frequently fall in love with their patients, just as their patients fall in love with them, yet out of duty to the patient and their role they are usually able to abort the collapse of their ego boundaries and give up the patient as a romantic object. (A/N lol I'm just obsessed with the fanfic crazed lately😏) We can choose how to respond to the experience of falling in love, but we cannot choose how to experience itself.
I want to scream so badly because of this feeling. I feel like I've stepped off the edge of a cliff, and even though my heart's in my mouth and my stomach is in knots, I'm the most excited I've ever been in my life. I'm totally aroused by Harry. I want him, every part of him, and this feeling that I'm feeling is terrifying me.
(A/N lol this chapter is based on some dreams I've been having and also the fanfic crazed by 1d_jollygood)
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