Song of the chapter- Over the love by Florence and the machines
Allison-
My eyes fluttered opened as I felt my head resting on Harry's chest as our legs were tangled with one another. I see that we are still fully clothed and it was nearly dawn. His eyes were still closed as he kept a firm grip around me. I smiled at the sight as I lightly kissed his forehead. Trying my best not to wake him I try removing his arm and immediately his arm tightens around my waist. He nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck grumbling incoherent words as he pulled me tighter against his body.
"Go back to sleep" he groaned in a raspy voice that makes my heart skip a beat every time I hear it.
I turned around to face him, his eyes refusing to open. I reached out to push back the loose ringlets that fell over his forehead. His eyes opened, his light green eyes staring back at my artificial brown ones. These are the moments where i feel I fall deeper and deeper in love with him. When neither of us says anything, and we just stare at each other. There's an understanding there that goes much deeper than words ever could. A connection so real I can't speak, because words could never say the things I was feeling right now. Have you ever been in love? It's Horrible isn't it. It makes you so vulnerable that it opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up and didn't want to go through that. I didn't want to go through pain and consequences of falling in love but I knew I was falling deeper and deeper every time I'm with him . Falling through time and space and stars and sky and everything in between. I feel for days and weeks and what felt like lifetime across lifetimes. I fell until I forgot that I'm even falling, but unfortunately loving someone doesn't obligate them to love you back, and that was what I was truly afraid of, of him not loving me back.
Harry-
She's absolutely breathtaking.
She was beautiful inside and out. The way her eyes shine so bright that it makes me want to know more. Behind her eyes is a girl trapped within
her pain that she has gone through,a girl feeling all the emotions of anger and sadness. She's fighting for a way out and I want to save her. But the only problem is that no matter how hard I try I can't give up on her no matter how much she wants me too,I just can't. And believe me, I've tried. I've tried acting like I am interested in other girls, I've tried flirting, I've tried it all. But in the end, I'm just comparing them all to her, seeing which one is the closest to everything I love about her. And none of them are good enough in those ways. It drives me crazy to be honest when I think of her everytime I hear certain songs, or words, or phrases, or do something I do with her.
Why? Because I'm hopelessly in love with her, and no matter how hard I try, that's not changing, and it honestly drives me crazy because I don't know if she feels the same way. But even if she doesn't feel the same way I won't leave her, no matter how much it hurts, I will never leave her.
Allison-
My phone suddenly rang, breaking from thoughts as I scrambled to pick it up.
I give a harry a look to excuse myself as I walk out of my room and into the hallway.
My phone rang once more as I accepted the call.
"Hello?" I said.
"Nice to hear your voice Ally" the smile on my smile immediately disappeared, my heart dropped and started beating erratically when the deep familiar voice spoke on the other line.
"W-What do you want Noah?" I try to keep my voice stern as possible but ends up sounding weak and fragile. I could hear him laughing on the other line.
" I want you to stay away from Harry and come back where you belong." He said.
"How do you know Harry?" I ask as I hear him laugh lightly on the other line.
"He's not what he appears to be, Ally." He simply states.
" He's better to me than you'll ever be." I spat, meaning every single word. He laughs again.
"You see, that's where you're wrong babe. Harry and I are exactly the same. It's only a matter of time where he'll snap."
"How'd you find me?" I ask, ignoring his statement.
"Stay away from Harry and I'll stay away from Spencer" My heart drops even more and before I can say anything the line goes dead. My thoughts go back to when Spencer called me almost a week ago, telling me to call her because it was important, but I never did. I was to caught up with Harry to remember to call my sister.
"Al?" Harry asked. He immediately noticed my terrified expression. My throat literally felt as if I swallowed a pill without water. I looked at him seeing that he was staring back at me.
"I can't do this any more." I whispered, my voice was cracking in fear as I felt my hands shaking.
"Do what?" He asked
"This. Us. Whatever this is, I can't do this anymore harry! I have to leave." I didn't realize I was crying until I felt the tears slide down my cheeks.
His expression became serious, and his hand grabbed mine.
"I'm not leaving you."
"This can't work Harry! You, my father, my mother, my sister and even Bella are in danger because of me!"
He looked down, then jerked his head up in frustration as his fingers tightened on mine.
"I'm not letting you leave Allison. I'll fucking die for you if it means to keep you safe. I'll protect you."
My heart pounded, and he stepped closer, so close the scent of mint enveloped me.
My throat caught. This wasn't going to happen, but something in me was withering. I wanted more and I knew I couldn't have it.
He touched my hair, and I twitched as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
"I want to fight for you even if I get hurt in the process I will never stop fighting for you."
My breath came fast. That was what I wanted too, and it hurt more than I thought was possible to survive.
"You reminded me what it feels like to care about someone. You made me fall in love with you and, fuck, I don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose you because I love you." I shake my head. This can't be happening. Not now. He can't love me at a time like this.
"Take it back Harry." I demanded but he just stayed quiet, his eyes staring into mine. I felt as if someone got a dagger and stabbed me in the chest multiple times. I knew I had to force myself to tell him I don't love him. That I don't care about him. It's the only way to keep him safe. If he hated me then it would only be easier when one day I'm gone. I sharply inhaled as I tried to say the words. The words I desperately don't want to say.
"I-I don't love you" I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath as I tried to compose myself.
"I can't love you back" his eyes stated into mine as a single tear slid down his beautiful face.
" I-I think you should go" I whispered. He shook his head.
"I'm not leaving you" he said as he came closer to me but I stepped back.
"Just go Harry" he nodded his head as he walked out the front door slamming it shut. I started sobbing uncontrollably as my knees gave out and my back slid down against the wall as I brought my knees to my chest and cried even more. Maybe it was for the best, maybe we weren't meant to be.
Maybe I was just too broken to be fixed.
(A/N literally crying at what I just wrote)
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