Generation Next (Companion Novel to the Guitar Buddy Trilogy)

Chapter 13: Realizing & Change

Dedication: @Twinklin_Lights cuz she forced me. JOKES but still. Love you girl.

~*~

Livi's POV

I sat in my hospital bed, playing with the threads from the old blankets and the gown I was in. I wanted to go home, but I knew that until I was fully back to myself, I wasn't going anywhere.

I had finally gotten over the notion of wanting to die. It didn't take too long after I'd freaked out at the doctor that I was not in the right state of mind. Dr. Jocund had really helped me realize what I wanted, but that day when Tyler, Carleigh, and I had all been shoved into the same room it all kind of came back to me that if I wanted to live the life I had before, or at least something close to it, Tyler could not be in it.

And while it broke my heart to be so nonchalant, so cool towards him, I knew it was the right thing to do. 

But it was so hard...I still really liked him. We'd known each other since we were both in diapers. How is it possible that you just cut someone out of your life like that?

There was a knock on my door. I looked up. "Hi," I said carefully, biting my lip as Dr. Jocund came in.

"Hi, Livi. How have you been?" he asked kindly.

"All right," I sighed. "I've been better, truth be told."

He smiled. "I can imagine. I was wondering if there was anything you'd like to talk to me about today."

I sighed. "I've been doing some thinking, okay, well a lot of thinking, really," I corrected myself, "and I think it's time that I let this whole ordeal go and stop blaming Tyler for his idiotic remarks. But at the same time I don't know how to just forgive and forget...." Tears brimmed as I trailed off and a lump formed in my throat. "I don't know how to."

"Livi Horan," Dr. Jocund said, smiling. "Daughter of Skylar Abbott and Niall Horan. Do you know what your Mum did briefly as a career?"

"She was a singer," I said dully.

"That is correct." Dr. Jocund. "Have you ever listened to her very first song?"

"No...but I know she wrote it with Uncle Ed," I mumbled.

"I have the song here," he said calmly, passing me an MP3 player. "I'm going to leave the room now, but I want you to listen to it. Really listen to the lyrics. What she's saying in the song itself. It's a great one, with a good, strong message, and I do think it could help you decide what to do," he said softly. "When you're ready to talk again, press the call button and a nurse will let me know that you are ready."

He stood up and left the room as I stared at the MP3 player, nervous. I hit PLAY and soft music started playing. 

A slow ballad, with a nice melody and an acoustic guitar. And then Mum started to sing:

It was when we were in high school, we've always been best friends,

Here I was thinking we'd be 'til the very end.

Then you went and screwed up, and left me all alone,

And now you want me back, but I just can't condone.

And my friends now are amazing...

But there's something that's still missing...

I bit my lip. How was it that this song related exactly how I was feeling now about Tyler? Yet it was written decades earlier, way before I was born.