Band Nerd // Joshler {DISCONTINUED}

«three • spill»

I felt a tap on my shoulder, then a little shake. A soft "Juliaaa," told me that it couldn't be Christine or Riley, they knew to never call me that. And it for sure wasn't my dad, based on tone. So I was intrigued to know who it was.

Opening my eyes, the first thing I saw was a deep blue that belonged to someone's hair. My heart skipped a beat. Josh was right in front of me.

"U-Uhm hi," I mumbled groggily. His face was within inches of mine, and he didn't seem to realize it.

"Looks like you found my comfort spot," He stated with a slight smile on his lips. "I've come here for years to escape life, but this is the first time I've seen someone I know."

"Oh, I've been coming here since I moved to this area. I kinda come here for a lotta things." My eyes flashed down to my phone, which had got multiple texts from my dad. "Uh sorry, I gotta look at these for a second.

Josh backed away from my face and sat next to me.

Asshole: you can come home now
Asshole: julia
Asshole: you useless bitch where are you
Asshole: my punching bag broke today, you better come home soon faggot

All of those texts were from nearly an hour ago. I was fucked if I went home. I didn't respond and shut my phone off.

"Everything okay?" Josh asked with concerned eyes.

"Yep, my dad just wanted me to get milk when I come home." Josh nodded, content with my answer, not knowing it was a complete lie.

"So," I began. "you said you come here to escape life, what curveball did it think you today?" My head turned to where Josh was sitting and I couldn't help but shake a bit. Nothing made me more nervous than a crush, not even my asshole for a dad. Why? I didn't know. All I knew is that crushes could be so painful for me.

"I know my life seems real nice and all, y'know, being an amazing player and all. But the truth is, everywhere I go there's someone digging me deeper and deeper into my pit of depression. I bet it's probably obvious with the hair and all, but I'm gay. And my family refuses to accept it. They say if I ever bring a boy home that is more than a friend they'll kick me out. So, every time there's something that even hints at supporting lgbt people they'll shut it down or refuse to let me use it or whatever. They're acting like it's a disease that needs to be eradicated. And a bunch of my old friends keep telling me it's a phase, but its not. I think the only person I know that fully supports me is Ms. Curran. She's amazing."

I cut him off, "Make that two people that fully support you." I smiled at him and he hugged me. He fucking hugged me. I was about to explode from how happy I was.

"Thank you so much Julia!" After his whole gay rant, I finally trusted him enough to trust that he wouldn't hurt me for being trans.

"Actually... It's really not Julia. I'm—well I'm trans. I prefer Tyler." I stared at my converse, hoping he'd break the silence. Most middle schoolers weren't okay with transgender people, and even if he was gay, it wasn't a guarantee that he'd be chill about it.

"Tyler," he said slowly, but contently. "It suits you. It's a handsome name."

I beamed a huge smile and nearly crushed him in a hug, and we fell onto the soft grass from where we were sitting. I felt the warmth of Josh and the cool Ohio breeze, which made for a perfect combination. "I don't wanna get up now. This is so comfy."

"Neither do I." We lay like that for a few minutes, which I expected to be awkward, but it was completely fine. I felt a hand in my hair and looked at Josh. I had all of a sudden become self conscious and I didn't like it one bit.

"It's so soft and fluffy!" He said excitedly with a huge grin.

"Oh, uh. Thanks I guess?" I knew my hair was soft, but I hated how it looked. "I don't really like the length though."

"I could take you to get a hair cut if you think your parents would be okay with it. I'm going to get mine trimmed tomorrow so you can sleep over then come with me in the morning if you want." Josh said, not even batting an eye at the fact that I'd known him for not even a month and he wanted me to sleep over.

"Well, I'm sure my dad wouldn't care about me sleeping over, but I'm not so sure about the hair..." I winced at the thought of him hitting me for 'becoming a faggot' as he liked to call it.

"What can he do about it when it's cut though? It's not like it'll magically grow back somehow." Josh was fixed on getting my haircut. I wanted it. I really did. But I didn't want the bruises that would come with it. I wasn't ready to tell anyone about my dad though.

"Well, I guess that's true. I can't believe I'm going to get my hair cut short!"

We walked to Joshes house, and about a block away from his house he stopped me and said, "Look, I know you're a guy, but my parents don't. The only way they'll let you sleep over is if make it seem like you're my girlfriend. I know it's odd, but just them knowing I'm not gay would make them ecstatic enough to let you stay over. If you aren't comfortable with that please tell me."

I looked up at Josh, as he was a bit taller than me, and contemplated the possibilities. I would have to pass as his girlfriend for a bit, which, don't get me wrong, I'd love to date him, but not as a girl. In return though, he'd stop his parents nagging and I'd get to stay the night and get my haircut.

"Okay, it's fine."

"Great. I hope you don't mind but we've probably gotta hold hands so they believe us." He interlocked our hands and a blush creeped onto my cheek. I couldn't deny how amazing the butterflies in my stomach felt right now. Internally, I was screaming with happiness at what was going on, but I couldn't show that to Josh. Not yet at least.