when i was in 7th grade i realised what the term "almost" meant.
i had told myself i was almost thin enough.
i was almost good enough.
i was almost okay.
almost means you weren't quite- that, but you were close. -
if i had to explain my depression i would specifically use the term almost.
i almost wanted to get out of bed.
i almost had the energy to do so.
i almost got good grades.
i almost wanted to make something of my life.
And i almost had myself together.
my walls shattered like glass.
And i almost wanted to fix the mess i called life. -
but i felt like i was underwater, even tho i could still see everyone else breathing perfectly fine.
which then brought me into a panic while i wondered why i wasn't okay like them.
why i wasn't almost as okay as they all pretended to be. -
i soon realised what the 'fake smiles' game was.
i learned the biggest smiles hold the saddest stories.
coincidently i came into school everyday with a beaming smile on my face.
a teacher asked "having a good day? your smiling a lot?" i replied yes.
if only she had known how my day was actually going she'd probably send me to the counselor's office.
the school day was nearly finished.
i almost made it another day.
my smile started to fade,
my so did everyone else.
