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A belladone can either save your life or destroy it.
~*~
The girl was lost and no one could save her but herself.
The world was unforgiving towards her, taunting and terrorizing her with her wrongs. It made her lose all hope of acceptance and forgiveness.
She became not sad but angry. Furious against the world, against its bounds and tore through the chains holding her sanity.
And with that started a war of worlds.
~~~~~~
Hello, I'm LunarsFantasies, and I'll be reviewing your book today! I mainly focus on the general plot, characterization, and my overall opinion.
Begining:
I wasn't sure what to expect when first opening this book, and when I read the title Introduction, I was expecting an author's note. I was shocked to instead find what seemed like a timeline of the history of the land known as Belladone, and I must say I was captivated by it. The language was elegant, giving it this dark feel mixed with a decorative and beautiful vibe. How you connected a comparison between a rose and a world was very impressive, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I would, however, change the title from Introduction to Prologue since that seems more fit for it, but that if your choice.
Dialogue and Characterization:
The dialogue is better than what I see in most stories on wattpad. It's realistic and helps project clear personalities between your characters. Although, some of your dialogue can be weirdly worded and putting an ellipse between most of your dialogue is causing a lot of disruption in the flow of your story. Instead of using ellipses to show a pause in your sentence, try adding an action instead. By that I mean try something such as "I'm sorry Captin," he bla bla bal, "there is no need to worry though." Another problem I noticed is that you're putting commas after your quotation marks, which isn't grammatically correct. They technically go inside the quotation marks.
Plot:
The plot was interesting, more than most I read. It comes off original and mysterious and shows great potential. I can see many people reading and enjoying this book. There were problems when it came to grammar, but that was mainly the comma issue I addressed earlier. The other thing that seems to trip me up is the overuse of commas. I also noticed that you say the Audra a lot instead of using the pronoun she. These are mild and fixable issues, but at the same time, they can hold back your story. This story has great potential with vivid descriptions and a captivating plot that has you asking questions.
Overall:
As I said before, interesting story; however, it dominates in terms of dialogue. I think it would be best to try adding some movement to your characters when they speak. It would make them more realistic and less stiff. Another thing I want to talk about is your character list. I love those; however, it should never be the first thing someone sees when they open up your story, so I would recommend moving it to the back. Next, your character list is a little too detailed, while it's nice to have, I wouldn't recommend going into that much detail about your characters so that your readers can discover this as they read. I also recommend not adding all the characters until they are properly introduced in the story. Another thing is, why do you bold the first sentence of your chapters? If it's for visual effects, then it's ok, but the first sentence of your first chapter is a little rocky and could use some touch-up. You want your first sentence to be captivating and draw in your readers. The last note I have to say is that while I love how your descriptions are, I feel as if there isn't enough of it on your characters. You simply describe their hair color, go deeper so that we can clearly picture the character.
That's all I really have to say. Your story isn't boring, in fact, it's plot is more original than most I've seen. Keep up the good work.
