You Are my Sunshine

Chapter 3: A Long Walk

The walk to the infirmary was slightly tense. Will and I walked in silence, although that wasn't what made everything tense. The thing that made both Will and especially me uncomfortable was the amount of shrouds and memorials put up around the camp to remember the dead. I could tell Will was distressed simply by looking at his dark eyes and thin lips. However, a majority of my discomfort was from the amount of Death that surrounded me. It was like gravity was turned up, trying to weigh me down. Most of the memorials were put up at the camper's favorite spot to hang out. Others were where the person died possibly trying to get more supplies while wounded or simply being tossed all the way from the depths of battle to the near center of Camp. Despite it being August, I was freezing. I saw a few ghosts already, comforting their weeping friends and family that couldn't see them. I could hear some of the ghosts talking, begging their loved ones to stop mourning, that they weren't in any pain. It was a truly heartbreaking scene that left me feeling like I was intruding.
I shivered. The entire time Will and I were walking, I could feel his stare on me as if his gaze could magically heal my werewolf scratches and uses of shadow magic. Finally, after catching his eyes for the sixth time, I asked, "Is something wrong?"
Will looked at me a little longer. His stare seemed to deepen, his eyes becoming the color of a midnight summer sky. "You can see them, can't you? And hear them."
I nearly tripped on my face. My jaw dropped. I would have never suspect that Will knew what I was seeing or hearing. Maybe he wasn't trying to heal me with his gaze, just trying to figure out what was going on in my brain. He scratched the back of his head. "You keep looking past the crowds at things that aren't there and I can hear you muttering to them." He dropped his head and smiled sadly. Will slide his hands in his pockets, and I could see him clenching and releasing his fists. "Some of them are the people I couldn't save." Now, his smile diapered and he grimaced.
My eyes unexpectantly stung. "Will, you can't save everyone."
He sighed, and I caught a glimpse of a different Will Solace. A Will who lied awake at night, crying silently to himself because he couldn't let his siblings see how torn up he was about those he couldn't save. A Will who almost killed himself trying to save others until he literally had to be dragged away shouting. A Will who's heart was full of sorrow and his head full of guilt. Will was trying to save so many people, but who was trying to save him? I turned away, blushing. I shouldn't have seen what I saw in Will. It felt too private, like something Will tried so hard to cover up and couldn't risk other seeing. If Will wanted me to see it, he would've told me. It was rude of me to see something so raw and exposing. "They aren't in pain, you know."
"What?" It's been a few minutes since either of us made a sound. Although the sounds around us never stopped, it was like Will's voice sliced through a silence.
"All the ghosts, they aren't in pain. And...and they don't blame you, Will. Sometimes death happens, and there's nothing anyone can do to stop it. 'Death is not the opposite of life, but a part of it.' I know all these people, they're so young, and  you wanted to help, but...they're okay. My dad will take care of them. They're heroes in Elysium now, or maybe some of them were already re-birthed in normal lives."
We kept walking. I still felt Will looking at me, but it felt different. He sniffed. "I-I...yeah. I wanted to help, but it's good to know they're..." His voice hitched, and he had to cough to continue. This time, there was the slightest tremor in his voice. "I'm happy that they aren't in pain anymore. Thank you."
I nodded slightly and brushed my hand on Will's elbow. It wasn't much, but I could tell Will appreciated the gesture when he looked down at me and smiled. "We're almost there, Nico. How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay, just tired."
"And the werewolf wounds?"
"They don't hurt that much." I answered truthfully. I knew that the injury was probably worse than how it felt, but I've had it for so long that I've gotten used to the discomfort it caused me. I thought that maybe a few days in the infirmary would actually do me some good.
No less than a minute after Will asked me about my injury, we were in front of the infirmary doors. The infirmary was a tall, modernized building that was built after the war with Kronos. Subsequently witnessing the amount of injured demigods and lack of space to keep them, the Camp made an unspoken decision to build an infirmary. Annabeth simply walked into a counselor's meeting one day and began to talk about her plans for the infirmary.
The smooth glass doors were tinted, so I couldn't see inside. But the doors weren't noise proof. I could hear the voices and chaos from inside the packed building. A bubble of anxiety arouse in my stomach and I momentarily wondered why I thought this would be a good idea. My shoulder throbbed immediately after the thought, and I remembered why I needed to do this.
I looked up at Will who was already looking down at me. He smiled, relaxed and assuring. The bubble inside of me eased. "It's going to be okay, Nico. We'll make it quick. Ready?"
I took a deep breath and nodded firmly once. Will grinned again, then pushed open the glass doors.

Hey, I was able to write! My surgery went well, although I freaking out before it started and afterwards (according to my mom) I kept saying "What the f***?" and asked the nurse if I had to deep throat a Popsicle (I did not). Not my brightest moment. Well, hope you guys are enjoying the new and (hopefully) improved You Are My Sunshine. Please, tell me what you think. Vote, comment, share, don't blame Will Solace.