You Changed Me

Number 3

I think I was desperate for the way that number 2 had spoken to me now that I think back on all of this, and just know that this entire situation makes me sounds extremely desperate.

I got online at one point and was looking at some spells (i was wiccan and was experimenting with my religion), and found a website through google -because google solves all of my 1st world problems. This website required you to sign up to get all of these badass features, but when you did, you could meet all of these awesome wiccan people. I signed up. Why not, you know? It was free.

There was this guy... Let's call him Number 3.. even though he deserves more... and I'm pretty sure he messaged me first. He was in his early 20s and I was 12 still I believe. we hit it off though, and it was really odd because he had an odd fear of hello kitty and I was scared shitless of sesame street characters at the time- I grew out of that with age, I promise. we bonded over our strange fears, though, and learned more about each other from there.

He was very poor, so he couldn't go to college, nor could he pay his medical bills. basically this guy never went to the doctor even though he had random fainting spells that scared me as a girl who cared for him deeply. He was the nerd in a family of bikers. and when he was in high school he was a lot like I was.

He made me feel at home.

yeah, it's not like I didn't know he didn't have much to offer me but at the same time he could offer the world. This man could love me as a real man should, and in the end, isn't that what everyone wants?

one day he told me he liked me, and I about peed my pants. This man who was way older than me and way nicer and way more deserving enjoyed my company... A lot.

I fell hard for this guy really quickly as I always had and a year in he asked me to marry him

I said yes.

but I had barely begun 7th grade. I know. He drove me crazy. and we had this long, drawn out plan for how it was going to work. So being his fiancée I gave him my number.

being his 12 year old fiance, my mom took away my phone and never let me talk to him again.

He treated me well, and we tried to keep in contact, we really did. But life gets in the way of things that aren't meant to happen, and sometimes you have to fall in love with people you aren't meant to be with. that's how fate screws us all a little bit. The pain always comes before the glory.