All the way to school, we didn't say much. Every now and then, he would point out something and I would give my opinion on it. I didn't mind it though. Our pinky fingers were still in contact, my heart was still beating rapidly and I caught him a few times looking at me when I wasn't aware. It made me all giddy.
The peaceful walk to school, soon turned into a small chaos. People started turning their heads and started whispering. Very few smiled at us and I grew very uncomfortable. My hands started fidgeting and my head was hung low. I didn't want another rumour to go around.
"Don't mind them Hyesu. They're just not used to seeing a guy like me hold someones hand," he said out loud.
"Someones hand..." I repeated his words. Am I just another someone to you Mark? I felt a little hurt, I won't lie. I just felt used.
"A-are you okay?" his voice had suddenly changed. I shook my head. I felt anger and shame fill my body. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Hyesu, don't bottle up your feelings."
"I've been doing it for the past 3 years, I think I have the right to do what I want with my feelings," I blurt out, as I yanked my hand away from his. My voice started shaking and I was annoyed at myself for getting angry at Mark. He didn't mean it, I knew it, but still, I lashed out.
"Please, don't do this, not now anyway. We had such a great morning," he murmured gently. He tried to reach out for my hand again, but I moved back abruptly.
"Don't do what? Shout? Cry? Run off? What am I not supposed to do Mark? All these years, I've had to hide myself away. From everything. I just can't do it anymore. I don't know what to do anymore!"
Tears threatened to fall, but I fought them back. "Let me help you Hyesu."
"Help me? And why would you do that? Is it so you can help Jiwoo spread more rumours? Or do you want to do it, to use me?" At this point, I had lost it. Tears were streaming down my face and I just wanted to vanish into thin air.
"I'll give you an honest answer Hyesu. I want to help you because I love you," he said as he pulled me into his embrace. I cried onto his shoulder until I let everything go.
"I'm s-sorry," I stuttered, unable to catch my breath.
"It's okay, I understand," he whispers, wiping the tears away.
"I... I love you too you know?" I muttered, hoping he wouldn't hear.
"I know. I hope you know I love you just as much and from now on, you tell me everything you're feeling. Stop bottling things up. I don't want you to be unhappy okay?"
"Okay," I smiled. He smiled back.
a/n
cringe cringe cringe help me and im sorry for this chapter.
YOU ARE READING
lunch | mark lee
Fanfictionmaybe he'll care enough to love her. - a story in which a boy doesn't ask a girl to have lunch with him even though he wanted to. starring hyesu park and mark lee ft. nct
