Ethan Dolan Imagines

aftermath of suicide ❁

this is a very serious imagine and it may trigger some of you, possibly. so consider this a
trigger warning.

and i want every single one you readers to know that you can talk to me. im on my phone 25/8 and im always here to talk. no one should ever feel alone or feel as if though they aren't worth anything. all of you mean something. suicide is never the answer, never.

suicide prevention hotline : 1-800-273-8255
it's okay to ask for help when you need it.

i love all of you so much. please, be smart and make good decisions.

☽♛☾

the day after y/n committed suicide, there was an assembly at school. ethan didn't know anything about this as he entered the gym and took a seat next to jack, aaron, and grayson.

ethan's eyes were puffy and red. his knuckles were red and bloody and his hair was a mess. he didn't sleep, he couldn't. every time he closed his eyes y/n's face would pop up and make his heart sink even more. the guys were also pretty torn up about it. jack hadn't eaten, aaron cried, and grayson was the tape that tried to hold everyone together.

the principal and staff stood in front of the white screen along with a projector. "good morning students and staff. as some of you may know, we've lost one of our own yesterday." ethan's eyes widened as he clutched his fists. "the students in the yearbook gladly put together a slideshow for y/n. mrs. johnson," he nods to the woman behind the computer. he sets down the microphone as the lights are turned off and the video begins to play.

ethan felt as if his heart had been set on fire. every emotion and every limb in his body felt completely numb to the point where he felt insane. his fingers dug into the palms of his hands as he tried to make himself not cry.

pictures of y/n smiling made ethan's heart feel like it had been ripped out of his chest. then a picture of the two of them together popped up on the screen. it was their prom picture. ethan was kissing y/n's cheek as she showed the camera a goofy smile.

"i-i can't, im sorry," he apologized to his friends and quickly ran out of the gym with teachers calling out his name. he ran his fingers through his hair and down his face. tears were now freely flowing down his face as he thought of y/n.

jack, aaron, and grayson appeared down the hall as they raced to ethan. "ethan, calm down. what do you think y/n would do if she ever saw you like this?" grayson slowly asked.

"who cares what she thinks? she's long gone anyway. she decided that suicide was the best decision for her, she didn't care about anyone else but herself. not me, not any of you, but herself!" he yelled out in anger. "she choose a life without any of us, without me! i loved her more than anything and i couldn't save her! i-i didn't even know-" he cut himself off by letting out a sob as he punched the locker multiple times.

"not everyone can be saved," aaron explained.

jack nodded. "what y/n did to herself hurts. we know that. but she would want you to be happy, eth. she wouldn't want you acting this way!"

"why should i care what she wants for me? if she wanted me to feel that way then she should be here to tell me herself. she shouldn't be dead!" he sobs. "she can't be dead. she's all i have," ethan's knees buckled and grayson was the first to catch him. he brought him in for a hug as ethan sobbed in his shoulder.

suicide wasn't the answer. it was never the answer.