Beauty and the Gang Member--ON HOLD :(

Chapter 7-Brittany

I tried to forget the little fiasco when I dropped Consuala's money off at her house, but I couldn't shake the feeling that surrounded me.

No, not the feeling that I was almost attacked by gangbangers. It's just when Alex held me so close...I felt a connection. A bigger connection than I had ever felt with any other boyfriends. But I couldn't date a Southsider. The only other girl I knew who did that was Taya Johnson. She was a cheerleader, honor student, all around good girl. Then she got involved with Kurtis Marshall, and the last place I saw her was Kum & Go, smoking a cigarette by her boyfriends motorcycle, sporting pink hair, a nose ring, six visible tattoos, and a very noticeable baby bump.

I kept what happened away from my mom, not that she would care, but because I didn't want her chastisement. My mom didn't let herself care too much about anything because our family was so messed up.

She was oblivious to the fact the Baileigh had an eating disorder, leaving me to deal with it. The main reason is because my Nana has severe Alzheimers, so she doesn't remember about 95% of anything she has previously experienced. It's sad, because she doesn't know that she has two granddaughters, let alone a daughter.

We go visit her every Saturday and we bring pictures to help her remember, to no avail. She'll be cordial, and on occasion, a little spark will ignite in her brain and she'll say a little anecdote from her childhood, or a special event during my elementary years. She was diagnosed when I was 15 and Baileigh was 6, so she doesn't remember Baileigh at all, which is discouraging.

When I got home I flopped on my bed and lay there thinking. What would happen if Alex and I got together? I certainly wouldn't end up like Taya Johnson. I sure as hell wouldn't. I wouldn't allow myself too. Even I had too much pride. Many people would say that I'm narcissistic, but I'm not.

Rolling over, I buried my face in my pillow. I didn't realize how tired I was until I was half-asleep. I don't know how long I slept, but Baileigh was shaking my shoulder, dragging me from dreamland.

"What?" I yawned.

"Mom wants to know if you still like blue cheese dressing." She was sitting on the edge of my bed, her frail shape hidden by her oversized tee shirt.

"Yes. What are you having?" I looked her straight in the eye.

"I already ate while you were sleeping." As convincing as she tried to be, I wasn't buying it.

"Baileigh, you know you can tell me anything, right?" I told her, and she shifted on the bed and stood up.

"Yeah, but there's nothing to tell." And with that, she walked out of my room. Watching her like this made me sick. I just laid back down and fell asleep, wishing this away.

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"Brittany! Brittany!" I heard my mom scream.