Innocence Of Him

C22

I just killed someone, how am I going to carry on living like this?

I didn't know how I would get over this event as if it didn't matter, and live with the rest of my friends... if I could get over it. I had my bloody hands gripping my hair in anger, and I felt neverending tears fall down my cheeks- which also had blood.

Every place on my body was dirty with blood.

How could I get by this, I had no idea.

Should I tell someone? I thought to myself; I knew I couldn't keep this to myself. It was too much. You won't be in this alone, they will help you...

Before taking my surprisingly clean phone out of my hoodie's zip pocket, I took one of the 10 water bottles the neighbour gave to us, and unscrewed the sky blue lid. I took extra caution when opening the bottle- I gripped it hard to prevent it slipping, but too hard and I might had squeezed water out. Knowing there was nothing else to use, I poured some water onto my left hand, and put the bottle down. My right hand pulled at the bottom of my shirt while my left rubbed up and down the bloody area, trying to clean it. After a while, all the water did was smudge the blood to elsewhere, so I gave up and grabbed the water again. I poured more water in to my left palm and splashed it on to my face.

My contacts were in alphabetical order...

CONTACTS

A

B

C

D
Dad
📨📧📞📽🗑

E

F

G

H

I

J
Jeong Hoseok
정 호석
Hobiii
📨📧📞📽🗑

Jeong Jeongguk
정 정국
My Kookie❤
📨📧📞📽🗑

K
Kim Eonjin
김 언진
동생
📨📧📞📽🗑

Kim Namjoon
김 남준
준이
📨📧📞📽🗑

Kim Seokjin
김 석진
진이
📨📧📞📽🗑

L

M
Min Yoongi
민 윤기
📨📧📞📽🗑

Mum💫
📨📧📞📽🗑

N

O

P
Park Jimin
박 지민
침침
📨📧📞📽🗑

There was no one else in the alphabet after P. I decided to do 2 things: I scrolled back up to the top to my dead father... and pressed the icon to the far right. Why did I need his number if he was dead? Yes, my mum was too, but she was a nice person.

I'm never getting rid of her number.

My tears had stopped falling. Second: I went back down to the second contact in K, Namjoon, and called him.

The screen changed, and now displayed the leader's contact name in the centre of the screen(we called him the leader because he's the most responsible). I watched the ellipses by the word 'CALLING' appear one by one, then disappear again- suddenly the word changed to four 0s, divided in two by a colon. Then I decided to go outside.

"Hello?" I heard the deep voice of Namjoon, and I broke into tears once again. I had to tell the elder everything that happened and I felt like I wasn't ready to. I couldn't turn back now.