September 1st

Chapter 1: I'm My Own Self Destruct Button.

(A/N: Possible Trigger.)

A butterfly's wings can flutter however many thousands of miles away and despite the harmless intention of take off from the small butterfly, the outcome of one simple flutter can be the self destruct button of natural disasters.

In chaos theory, the Butterfly Effect is the sensitive dependence on initial conditions in which a small change in one state of a deterministic nonlinear system can result in large differences in a later state.

But the death toll is never pressured on that so called innocent flutter of the wings. Mother Nature was given credit for those.

He was determined to believe that even the most unaware of creatures have a sense of awareness and that maybe somewhere a butterfly was maddeningly fluttering its wings with a hope of mass chaos, the need to take down as many lives in its own short one as a serial killer feels the urge to do on his or her own urges.

He supposed it could be the shadow of death hanging on every nook and cranny in his own mind that led him to believe what his mother would deem absolute nonsense; that the butterfly was secretly an evil mastermind and it was only alive to destroy and what it could not destroy with a flutter of the wings, it would leave to its children and its grandchildren, so on.

But of course no one would ever believe the nineteen year old Comic Book writer who took pills for the so called ADHD he was diagnosed with alongside other matters like Depression and Anxiety. He didn't think being open-minded and imaginative at his age was harmful, but everyone else did.

Society deemed him as a weird kid.

His mother called him special.

He preferred misunderstood.

But that was just life, right? You live, you learn and you make mistakes until one day you just... Don't exist anymore. You become a memory. And over time those memories will fade away and your accessors won't tell your story or talk about you anymore. When you die, so does your purpose. You become irrelevant. And that was sad, yes but death is inevitable.

And Gerard was okay with that. In fact, he was more than okay with it. He welcomed it with open arms and a smile as wide as he could make it. He was fuckin' ready, as his brother Mikey frequently would say.

Inevitability is something that scares most of the human race. He knew that. It may seem like death herself—he didn't believe in gender roles and figured death could be a woman as well as a man—was the scariest part of inevitability. But he believed it was actually the part about not knowing what would happen after. No one knows for sure that there is a place you go other than in a vase or rotting in the ground under a piece of stone with your name on it. Maybe it was like the Corpse Bride and they all lived together underground or some shit.

He didn't like to dwell on it too long. Those thoughts were time consuming and sometimes caused you to live your life in fear and worry. And when that happens, you can't live properly. You can't experience things the way others can, and you die long before your heart stops beating.

And that is when you truly become irrelevant.

So in chaos theory, a butterfly's wings can cause a lot of disaster. He often thought of it in a different perspective from that and interpreted it in his daily life.

Bad thoughts are the wings fluttering rapidly and those thoughts in chaos theory are what leads up to worse things.

Sometimes those thoughts made people end up irrelevant. Or extremely relevant to the point where they get tired of being fussed and worried over and they just.. Give up.

In chaos theory Gerard was one of those people.

Gerard was the butterfly, and the aftermath of the manic fluttering of the wings was his own life.

He was, in fact, his own self destruct button.

And he was irrelevant.

(A/N: Hey pumpkins that was the first chapter of September 1st and i hope you love it! Sorry this was short.

That's one of my favourite pictures up there, by the way.

Things may seem confusing right now but you'll understand later.

Okay, love you my pumpkin pies.

🎃💚)