Perspective

chapter 6

demi

i cannot believe her. she hates me. she's right, it is my fault for not noticing that she wasn't eating, or that something was obviously wrong because she kept running away at dinner time. if i hadn't of been so wrapped up in this wedding and getting the other girls healthy i would've noticed that the person who needed the most attention was actually lyric. god knows what else she's been doing to compensate for her feelings. it's all my fault.

i ran into my bathroom and looked for a razor, my baby said she'd rather die than live with me, i have to be punished.

'demi' nick called

'demi, are you in here?' i broke the razor and picked up a blade, just as nick pushed the door open

'give me the blade demi'

'demi!' he yelled and quickly grabbed the blade from my wrist and picked me up, carrying me to the bed and sitting down with me, wrapping his arms around my waist and tightly holding on

'what's going on?' marissa asked walking in the door

'oh never mind, you kids have fun'

'wait, are you crying? dem what's wrong?'

'can you get this away' nick handed marissa the blade that i had earlier

'she?' nick shook his head

'she was going to' nick said

'i'm still here you know?' i said annoyed

'well then, what upset you so much you were going to break your three years clean' marissa said quite bluntly

'nothing'

'it was not nothing demi, now either you tell me or i call sarah' 

'lyric said she would rather be dead than live with me, okay, and some other things but that's not important'

'jesus christ demi' marissa stormed out of the room

'where's she gone? what's she doing?'

'calm down demi' nick said

'hey look at me' he turned my head to him and slowly kissed me

'how did this altercation between you and lyric start?'

'she, uh, her eating disorder is back. we were talking about it and she blamed it all on me because i've been focusing on getting the little girls to their weight targets and on our wedding, and i didn't pay attention to the fact that my daughter was starving herself again. she was right'

'demi, it's not your fault. did she ever come to you and tell you that she'd stopped eating because her eating disorder was back? how were you supposed to know babe, you know how hard it was to tell that you weren't eating? none of us really knew, until it got really bad, so don't beat yourself up' 

'nick she could've died, and i wouldn't have noticed until it was too late. i don't think her heart can handle much more, its already weak from everything before. i don't know what to do with her. on top of that god knows what else she's already turned to to help with all the pain that comes with that, what if she's self harming again, i already know she's drinking alcohol at party's, oh my god nick!'