Somewhere in the Middle

The Middle

Evie didn't want the show to end. She didn't want the tour to end. Because despite all of the hard work, all of the trouble, all of the heartache, it had been the best time of her life.

And she was proud. Proud to have worked with these boys, proud to know them... proud to love them. Even if one particular love shouldn't be. Even if the love for one felt like the betrayal of the love for another.

But she wouldn't think about that now. Not during their last performance of the tour. She would focus on them. On the way Luke smiled, making eye contact with everyone he could find in the crowd. On the way Greg moved, his arms flailing as they beat out a rhythm the rest of the guys followed. On the way Travis bit his lip as his fingers moved on the strings of his guitar. On the way Jamie tossed himself around like he didn't care where his body ended up as long as it was in time with the music.

And she stared at him longer than she should've. Stared at the way the cords of his throat strained as he sang. At the way he reached out, grabbed his fans' hands and held on. At the way he smiled at them, blowing kisses their way whenever he could sneak them in between lyrics. She enjoyed the way his eyes closed, the way the meaning of his songs became that much more important to her when he held his microphone out, and let the crowd sing the words to him. And her heart thrilled when, every so often, his blue eyes drifted over to her corner.

Evie wasn't sure that he could see her. In fact, he probably couldn't. Still, her body reacted. Her heart raced, her stomach twisted itself into a knot, and her palms prickled with sweat.

It wasn't fair, she thought. How he could affect her so much. None of it was fair. How she'd gone from disliking him so intensely, to liking him far more intensely than she should've. How he'd gone from brooding, mean rock star in her mind, to brooding, perceptive, thoughtful, and kind Jamie in her heart. Just Jamie. The man who didn't seem to have to listen to her to know her heart and mind, but chose to listen to her anyway. The man who never wanted to drive away her darkness with light and positivity, but instead accepted it, and opened himself to her so that she could see and accept his darkness, too.

And she'd kept herself away from him as best she could. She'd remained faithful to Luke. She loved Luke. But sometimes, she wasn't sure if she loved him as much as she loved Jamie. She wasn't sure that the love she had for Luke was real if she could've fallen in love with his best friend, too.

It wasn't fair. Any of it. But she would do the right thing if it killed her. And the right thing was to be with Luke.

Which didn't change the fact that Jamie was who she thought of in the dead of night when she should be sleeping. It didn't change the fact that her eyes immediately went to him whenever he entered a room, or the fact that her heart pounded off-beat when he was near. It didn't change the fact that she replayed his words—his voice—saying I love you, I love you, I love you, over and over again like a song. And it didn't change the fact that when he touched her, it felt like he was warming her soul.

She didn't want to leave him. Didn't want the tour to end if it meant not being able to see him anymore. In fact, she hated the thought so desperately, she'd been quieter these last few days, kept more to herself, afraid that someone would notice just how much she was hurting. Because she couldn't see how seeing him again would be possible—what excuse they'd have to see each other once they were back home in New York. They were friends, of course, and friends could hang out whenever they wanted, she supposed. But that was the other part of the problem.

Friendship had never really existed for them. They were either hating each other, or falling in love with each other. There was no in between. It was why they'd had to keep themselves apart these last few weeks of the tour—why they could barely speak to each other in front of other people. Friendship wasn't in the cards for them, and to try and force it when there was so much attraction and emotion between them would only end in tragedy for someone.