Wonderlust

7:00

Our eyes met in the mirror. 

His face did not even hint at a joke. His purple eyes were staring so intently into my own that I could not make myself look at his face any longer. I looked back down at the task that I was doing.

"To put it simply," I said with a soft sigh. "You are a man who commands attention, even when you do not say as much. Everyone's eyes naturally follow you.  You have a prideful look in your eyes and a noble face. There isn't one person who would call you silly, even if you went out looking like this."

"And How do you see me?"

I looked up to find that his eyes were still on me, but they held something.  A strange sense of desperation. It scared me. I did not want to look at it anymore. 

I looked back down at my hands that were still drying Ciel's long locks. 

"I don't understand," I said with a soft voice as I sat the towel down on the vanity. "Did I not just tell you what I thought?"

He blew some air out of his nose. "You told me what others think. Not what you think."

"I know you as well as they do. Are we not the same?" I began to twist his hair into a braid that I had learned in Germany. 

"Of course it isn't!" He scoffed. He placed a hand on his forehead, pushing his bangs away from his face. 

I could see the frustration in his eyes. Why was my opinion so important to him? So strange.

"Perhaps..." I began hesitantly as I tied the end of his braid. "Perhaps you are not as shiny as people make you out to be."

"Shiny?" He is watching me in the mirror, hanging on to my every word.

"Yes." I turned away, going to the closet to pick out a dress for dinner. "At the party, that first night, you were much different. You seemed flamboyant and very far away. As if you were not able to be reached. A bit like a king. But then when I met you in the garden you were much... grittier. Much more human. You seemed to be more down to earth until..."

An image of Ciel under the gazebo flashed in my mind. His dark eyes burning holes into me. A shiver went down my spine at the thought of it. 

"I am sorry, you know." He suddenly said, twisting in his chair to get a better view of me. "For scaring you in the garden."

So we were thinking the same thing.  Looking at his face, he did seem sorry. 

I forced a laugh and pulled out a purple gown from the wardrobe. "As if you could scare me, Mr. Hatter. You will have to do much better than that."

He did not laugh. He did not even blink as he watched me. I felt a heavy awkwardness fill the room. 

"When you were asleep," Ciel said suddenly as he stood from the vanity chair. "after you passed out under the gazebo, you cried out a lot. Crying for someone to stop."  He came closer. so close that I could feel his heat on my back.  I was suddenly very aware of the fact that I was dressed in a very thin night gown in the presence of a man. How indecent of me. 

I did not turn around. I could not. If I did I was not certain of what would happen. 

"Perhaps I was having a bad dream?" I said numbly. I tried to mask my distress with the cold voice that I always used but it would not come. It was stuck in my throat. I wanted to run away.

"You cried for your father and you thrashed about as if someone were attacking you." He placed a hand over my shoulder and onto the wardrobe door, caging me between it and the wall.

"It was just a bad dream," I repeated this time I forced my voices to be cold. It came out in a chilling manner that would even cause my own brother to be afraid- but not Ciel. He did not move. 

"Perhaps you are right, Allis." He whispered in my ear. I could smell vanilla tea and roses as he pressed his chest to my back to keep me from running away. "Perhaps it was just a bad dream."

His free hand moved my braided white locks over my shoulder, exposing the back of my neck to him.  

"But I feel as though it was not just a dream for you." His warm breath touched the sensitive skin that was rarely ever exposed. "You sounded very frightened, Aliss."

The way he said my name made me shiver. Why? Why is he doing this? I couldn't decide if he was a friend or an enemy. He was an enigma. 

"What are you, Ciel?" The words came out more sensual than I meant for them too.  I sounded out of breath.

He seemed to come even closer. So close that his body heat engulfed me. My heart was pounding out of my chest. I could not think. Everything was jumbled up. 

What is this feeling? Am I sick? Perhaps I will die?

I could not comprehend what was happening when his lips brushed against my neck. They were soft and gentle. Nothing like I would have imagined them to be like.  

The more I began to understand what had happened the hotter I became. My face was burning.

Whywhywhywhy would he do that. Why? 

I am certain he didn't have that kind of feeling toward me. Maybe he was trying to trick me into staying here. I should not let myself be affected by this man. 

"Allis?" He sounded curious. As if observing an animal to see what it would do next.

"Yes?" The voice that left my lips did not sound like me. It was rock hard and One-hundred degrees below zero. Nothing like I had felt a few moments ago. "What is it?"

For a long moment, he did not say anything. We stood, with me pressed against him and the wardrobe. No one moved. 

"Dinner will be ready shortly. I trust that you will join me?" He lifted his hand and created some distance between us.  

I did not turn around as his heat left me. Once again I was by myself in the cold.