Wonderlust

7:30

It was my first time to see the dining room. The dark blue decor was lovely and posh.  The centerpiece in the center of the table gave a certain elegance, with peacock feathers and blue roses that were encrusted with white jewels. I was certain that I would never find a centerpiece like that when I went back to Reality. The table was smaller than I expected. Just right for two people.

While the decor was nice, and the food delicious, it did nothing to soothe my unease every time I looked up from my food to find Hatter looking at me. The electric purple eyes never moved away from me, not even as he ate. 

I found it hard to concentrate on my pigeon. Even I could not keep my cool when I am constantly being stared at.

"Why don't you tell me a bit about your life, in reality, Allis?" He suddenly suggested as he peered over the rim of his wine glass.

"Forgive me," I forced a smile from across the table, "but there is nothing to tell."

He laughed poshly as he took another sip of wine. "You are telling a fib, Miss Riddle. Tat was going on just yesterday about something called a Tran- was it?"

I cut up a piece of my food, "I believe you mean train, sir. It is simply another means of transportation. It is a vehicle that moves at such high speed that even a horse could not catch up to it. It runs on coal and smoke billows out of the top."

"It sounds much like a dragon. The move quite fast as well."

My eyes grew to the size of saucers. "D-dragon?"

"Yes." He does not seem fazed by the fact that what he just said sounds out right crazy." Of course, there is a big miss conception among foreigners about them. They are quite gentle unless you mess with their young."

"Is that so?" I said as I place my utensils down on my plate. "How... interesting."

Was this a dangerous place? I had no idea. Save when Tat brought me here, I had not been outside of the Hatter estate. I honestly did not even know how long I had been there. The days seemed to run into each other. My sense of time was not good. 

"Should we go into town tomorrow, Allis?" He asked as if knowing what I was thinking. "There is someone I would like you to meet and I am sure that you are tired of staying on the estate for so long."

"That sounds very interesting," I replied as I took a smooth sip of my drink. 

He small smile tugged on his lips. "I am glad. we will leave after breakfast in the morning."

The smile made me stare at his lips a bit too long. They were light pink and looked just as soft as they felt. I turned my gaze away in an attempt to hide my flushed face. How indecent of me. 

"Allis? Are you not well?" Ciel asked from across the small table. "You seem to be flushed. Perhaps we should post pone our outing?"

"No." I shake my head in an attempt to compose myself. "I am perfectly well. Nothing to worry about. I will be up bright and early tomorrow."

"I am glad to hear that." I was surprised to find that he did sound relieved to find me well. "I shall look forward to tomorrow."

"Please do," I said as I pushed the heavy chair back to stand. "I hope that you will excuse me, but it has gotten a bit late and I am quite tired."

"Of course madam. I myself am a bit tired as well." He did not move from his chair but watched me as I walked away. I could vaguely hear him as he said. "Until tomorrow, then."

On my way back to my room I thought over the evening. It had been stiff and to civil. He did not tease me or even show a true smile all through dinner. The entire encounter felt fake. Ciel Hatter was holding back, and I found it unpleasant. 

As I slipped into my dark room that night I could not help but wonder if it was my fault. Had I done something unpleasant?  Had he gotten tired of me? And did I care if he did?

"Certainly not," I scowled myself as I slipped the lovely purple evening dress off and replaced it with a soft cotton night gown. "If anything this is for the best." 

Yes, it was for the best, and I knew that, but there was a sudden aching feeling in my chest. What could that mean? I was scared to find out.

Better not to dwell on it, les I find the answer.  I thought as I burrowed under the covers of my bed. The nights had started to get cold and I could feel winter approaching. 

This was the season I hated. The season that held memories and scars. 

                                           _____________________________

The first train I ever boarded approached on a cool winter's day. Snow had not yet fallen, but everyone knew that it would come eventually.  Leo had squeezed my hand with great strength as the whistling got closer and closer. 

He had not spoken since we had gotten our tickets and had taken our seat on the red bench to wait. The paint on the bench was chipped and faded, exposing the worn wood underneath. 

"Allis," Leo said finally as the train came screeching into the station. "You are not to leave my side." 

I could feel the excitement pooling in the pit of my stomach. "Yes, brother."

I held onto my suitcase with a tight grip. Just as we were boarding I could hear someone from behind. 

"May I take your bag miss?" A bag man said as he smiled at me from beneath his cap. 

I glanced down at the old bag that held the few things that I had decided to bring. It was not much. There were no memories that I would want to remember in the future and I threw away anything that could ever be tied to this place. 

"Certainly," I said as I handed it over to him.

"Thank you very much," He said before placing it on his bag trolly and moving on to help some other little naive girl with her bag. 

"You know, you could act your age," Leo said later as we sat down in our private room in the first class car. "You speak as if you are a seasoned young lady, and yet you are not even ten. You have yet to have your debut into society."

"I don't want one."

This made him pause. "Perhaps you will change your mind."

"I will not."

And I didn't.