Maybe Tomorrow (completed)

Chapter fifthteen

TobiasPOV

I can't get those words out of my head.

He, is the only reason I haven't joined my parents yet.

But everything that's happened to me...
I might as well throw myself out a window.

I try and keep back the tears.
Her words keep floating through my mind.

I feel like he is only dating me out of pity.

I turn on my back.
I rub my face.

I wish these words would leave me alone long enough to get me some sleep, but I can't ignore them.

She really thinks all this.
Giving up her life would make everything better, but it will make everything worse.

Thinking she is worthless, and no one will care if she leaves this world.

I care.

I have always cared.
I turn my head and look over at her.
She is fast asleep, her breathing even, her hair all in her face.

She is so beautiful, I wish she would see it.
She has so much talent, but she hides it.

She's perfect, and I'm going to show her she is, in every way I can.

I take deep breaths.
I rub my forehead, which is covered in sweat.

I take off my shirt, and throw it on the floor.

My whole body is covered in sweat.
I didn't have a nightmare, only because I've been up the whole time.

I finally feel my eyelids getting heavy, and they close.

I'm in her bedroom, everything all quiet.
It's colder in here than usual.
I walk around the room, seeing if she is here.
Nobody.

I look downstairs and in every room of the house.
Still nobody.

While I' walk around the kitchen table, I see a note.

Dear Tobias,
If I could say anything to comfort you, I would, but we both know there are no words to fix this. There's so much I wish I'd had the time to tell you. So much I wanted to have with you. And I also wish I could say that I regret doing this to myself, but we promised not to lie to each other. So I won't.
You deserved to be happy. To find peace. To grow old with me. And I wanted that so much. I can only hope that my mother was right, that you will be okay, maybe not now, but someday. I hope you can find Happiness Tobias, after everything you've been through with me. I hope that when we meet, you will share many stories with me of your life, your loved ones. Those we both loved. But until then, I guess this is goodbye. I didn't want to leave you, but I'm sure eternity will give us the time we always wanted.
Be Brave, Tobias. I'll see you soon.

Love,
Your Tris.

I cover my mouth with my hand, tears rolling down my cheeks.
I scream.