The Trouble With Me

Chapter 4

I walk in school with a big, but fake, smile on my face.  As soon as I get to my locker the smile drops.  I don't like lying to myself or others.  I my books for the first couple classes and put my bag away.  I guess I must've slammed the door shut because Carson comes running over to me asking what's wrong.  When I wouldn't answer he started being a drama queen saying he's never going to talk to me ever again and he's not going to be my friend anymore.  I finally gave in and told him that I would tell him after school if he gives me a ride.  He agreed and walked to his first class down the hall.  I did the same, or at least attempted to, but Maggie stopped me half-way there.

"Hey,  why couldn't you get a ride with us this morning?  Why did Dillan drive you?"  Maggie said sounding surprisingly happy.

"I'm sorry.  It's a long story and I'll tell you after school.  I'm getting a ride with you and Carson."  I tell her waving and walking into class.

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The lunch bell rang and I ran out the classroom door, probably knocking over people in the process.  I don't care if people were mad at me for pushing through them because right at the moment finding Maggie, Carson, and Dillan are my first priorities.  Dealing with everybody being mad at me is my last.  I plan to explain to them what happened last night with my dad and everything during lunch instead of the car ride home after school.  That way I will have more time and they will understand why I can't get a ride with them before school anymore.

"Maggie!  Carson!"  I yell coming closer and closer to them and then giving Carson a big hug.

"Hey Meg."  Carson says with a huge smile on his face.

"Hey Meg."  Maggie says a little less happily.

"Have you seen Dillan?"  I ask hoping he is close by.

"I don't know, Megan.  Is he?"  Maggie says getting angry fast.  "You're always with him.  I thought you always knew where he is."

"I'm sorry, Mags.  I didn't realize."  Right now I am really confused on what's going on.  What has gotten into her?  She isn't usually like this.

"Of course you didn't 'realize'.  You don't 'realize' anything.  You probably didn't 'realize' that I've been texting you all morning because you haven't replied to any of them."  Maggie yells back at me using finger quotes every time she said realize.

"I'm sorry, Mags.  I'm really sorry.  I must've left my phone at Dillan's house this morning."  I say looking in my purse and feeling my pockets.  "What's wrong?"

"It's over with now.  Why did you even stay at Dillan's last night?"

"I don't want to talk about it right now.  Not without him." I tell her searching the hallways for him.

"Of course you don't.  I have to go."  She storms off and bursts through the doors to go outside.

I am really scared and don't know what's going on.  Why is she so mad all of a sudden?  She seemed fine this morning.  Hopefully she gets over this soon because I actually do want to talk to her about my mom and dad.  I guess I'll just tell Carson.  He will probably understand part of what I'm going through because his parents got a divorce soon after we met.  But, he might not understand what my dad has been doing to hurt me.

"Carson, I...I have to tell you something."  I stutter.  "I don't know how to though.  It's about my parents."

"What's wrong?"  He says gesturing to me to sit on the floor in front of some of the lockers with him.

"They are getting a divorce and I have to move."  He probably can't even understand me because I say it so fast.

"Oh, no Meg.  It's gonna be okay."  He lays my head on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around my shoulder.  We rock back and forth because he knows I like it and it calms me down.