Of Monsters and Humanity: The Genesis

Chapter 73 - Xander

Three days after....

I knocked on the attic bedroom door. "Terra, please open up," I pleaded.

She didn't respond, but I could feel her body pressed against the door. I heard her crying and sniffling.

"I didn't do what I did to use you," I started to explain, sitting down on the top step and resting my head against the door.

"Then what do you call it?" she cried.

"I call it two people wanting to kiss each other."

Terra sniffled. "I don't want you to think of us as people in a relationship. You have a lot more to worry about. You just got home--I don't want to be like Kerensa and push anything on you." She didn't speak for a moment as she gulped and sniffled. "I really care about you, Xander. I don't know what this is--I've never been in love with someone or had a boyfriend or went on a date. Hell, the only time a boy has ever given me flowers was Damian before he left us for dead." She coughed out a throaty, wet laugh. "They were probably just an apology in advance."

I couldn't run from the things I shouldn't say any longer. "I respect the space you're giving me. It means more than you know. But a part of me is doubting the idea that we are what we are because of our lack of affection; I cannot fully believe that both of us are so broken that we go to each other for lust. I care too much about you to believe that."

"And I believe that, too," Terra followed quickly after. "I care about you. I'm sorry for pushing all of that on you during your stay at my house."

"Who kissed who first?" I asked.

After a moment, she whispered, "You kissed me."

"Correct. Now stop blaming yourself."

Terra was silent for a while. I leaned into the door and listened to her heartrate and breathing calm and slow. Eventually, she asks, "What do we do now?"

"Wait for The Coexistance to find us," I answered, but I knew what she was actually asking.

"No, I meant--nevermind."

"We leave this for a while and come back when the world is stable."

Terra chuckled. "When will the world be stable?"

I cracked a smile. "Never. But we can wait until both of us are."

I heard her chuckle softly on the other end and I smiled. Eventually, though, my smile faded and I cleared my throat. I heard Terra swallow.

"I'm going to go downstairs for a while and check up on Alistair and Kerensa. Will you be okay in here?" I asked.

"I'll be fine, thank you. And tell Alistair thank you for the dinner."

I smiled. "I'm glad that you guys are getting along so well." In fact, it was almost a relief. It meant a lot for them to have gotten so comfortable with each other in such a short amount of time. I pressed my hand against the door, then drummed my fingers on the wood. "This is a battle we're fighting together, okay? No more running. You were here for me, and now I'm here for you."

I heard Terra set her hand on the other side of the door. A strange, warm sensation radiated through the wood.

After cracking another smile and nodding, I removed my hand from the door and jogged down the attic steps.

I walked through the main room and into the kitchen, halfway expecting Alistair to be at the counter smoking. I knew that I made a massive apology to both of them after what I had said, and that we all sat together for a while as we came to terms with the events that had unfolded, but it wasn't enough. I was being so hostile and rude to the people I loved most. I hated the way I was acting, but I needed time to get back to the way things were before.