Clouds

CHAPTER 33

Chandler's POV

shit! what the hell is wrong with you Chandler! Run after her! But I cant.. she wants to be alone.. jesus fucking Christ!! Why can't I be normal, like dumbass Brady.. she needs him not me! Someone who will actually treat her right! And not to mention someone who wont lie and hurt her!!

I run back to my dorm and start thinking of so many bad day dreams of her leaving me.. what if she goes for Zayn? What if she just starts ignoring me? What if she switch schools just so she wouldn't have to face me? So many what ifs.. this girl drives me insane.. but at the same time she makes me sane...

There are so many things rushing to my head...I'm so broken.. and she isn't.. maybe I need to stay away from her.. I don't want to brake her innocence.. but I cant stand being an hour away from her..

Fuck!

Clouds POV

I made my way back to Tori's dorm.. I just need girl talk..since my best friend is..gone..

I knock twice on the door hoping she will be there.. but I was wrong, Becca was there..

"hey Clouds.." she leaned her shoulder to the frame of the door smiling to me

"hey..is uh, Tori here?"

"no sorry.. she went to her parents house to spend Christmas there..what's up?"

"oh. um-" she looks at my arm and goes wide eyed

She grabs my hand and pulls me into the room.. half was all in rock band posters, a guitar, and lots of cool stuff.. the other side was so girly.. with posters of boy bands, tumbler boys, and is that? That's 5 SOS..

"what happened to your arm?!" I look back down at my arm and sigh

"Chandler got mad at me and-"

"did he hit you!?"

"what?! no no, god no..he just grabbed my arm..roughly.."

Becca sighs sitting on her bed.. she pats the side, signaling me to go sit by her side.. "tell me what happened.."

"well..I got a call from Zayn..asking me to go to a party with him.. Chandler caught me and told me never to talk to him..I yelled at him saying I can be friends with whoever I want, I ran out to Zayn's.. when Chandler burst through the door grabbing my arm and pulling me out the door.." I sigh

"when he pulled me out, his blue eyes weren't the bright blue ones I knew.. they were dark.. filled with anger..he wouldn't let go of me and I was actually scared of him..when I promised him I wouldn't talk to Zayn.. he let me go.. and this is what got left behind.." I finished pointing to my arm..

"that bastard!" I laugh..

"it scared me, I've never seen him get this mad.. even when we were kids..never.." I think back to Chandler's dark, almost grey eyes filled with anger...I shiver at the thought of him.. actually, abusing me..

"do you want me to beat him up?" I look at Becca and just start laughing..

"no I'm okay..I just, I was scared for my life you know? I thought he would actually..beat me at that moment.."

"look.. Chandler is your best friend right?"

"yea I guess.."

"you love him, don't you?"

"yea.. a lot.. but, I can't speak for him.. I don't really think he does..I'm pretty much his play toy..once he got bored of me he threw me away.." I remember the day I saw him cheating on me with Amy..it broke my heart..

"you guys need to talk..alone.. sort everything out..because is some one like you cares a whole lot about some one.. they aren't going to get any better.."

"I suppose..thank you Becca.." I smile hugging her..

I race my way back to Chandler's dorm as I quietly knock..

I open the door and see Chandler on the side of the bed with his hands on his face rocking him self back and forth..

"Chandler?" he quickly looks up at me and his eyes are all red with fresh tears on the side of his face.. was he crying? I never see him cried.. when we were kids he was always the tough one..

"Claudia.." he walks up to me and hugs me..

"I'm sorry.. I'm so so sorry.." I hug him back breathing in his sweet smell.. people may think its weird but when your away from someone you care for a lot for more then 10 minutes you just want anything from that person to be with you.. he smelled like sweet cologne and his own smell mixed in there, with a hint of vanilla..

"Chandler..were you crying?" he pulls back and looks at me, his blue eyes fill with sorrow and regret

"y-yeah.."

"don't...someone as strong as you shouldn't be crying.."

"I h-hurt you.. I'm s-sorry"

I smile...looking at his sweet face pulling it close to mine..

"Don't forget, physical pains go away.. mental ones stay for a long time." with that I kiss him, this time making sure he knows I'm here for him.. and I am not going anywhere..

I am going to show this boy that all he needs in this world is my love.. when I was with Chandler.. it's like I forgot what it meant to be loved.. but after everything.. you don't know when everything you have will be gone..and really, I don't know if tomorrow I'll be alive or if Chandler will be alive.. truth is, I'm not afraid of heights, deep water, or love.. I'm scared of falling, drowning, and a broken heart.. there's so much a heart can take before it breaks..shatters, just gets ripped to shreds..

Some one may seem strong but in reality..there dealing if they should just stay home and make that decision to end it all or face the world.. all the insults.. the hatred.. the pain.. And that someone was Chandler.. he was broken, lost.. and maybe, just maybe I can lead him to the light.. I don't care for all his mistakes.. for his past.. as long as he is here in my arms.. I'm okay.. and so is he..

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haiiiii lol I know that this chapter was really depressing and also chandler made such a big deal out of just hurting clouds a little but I want to show you guys that.. clouds is the only thing chandler has ever loved so much.. after his mom passing he felt lost, like no one cared for him.. so he turned to drugs ,alcohol, and hooking up with random girls.. to push away the pain.. he felt at the moment he had hurt clouds as if that was it, she left his life.. but she didnt... she knows her Chandler is still in there.. her happy one and childish one.. its all hard to really explain their relationship but.. you know, u will understand later on :) thanks for reading