Internal affairs

chapter 11

"Of course. I love you, Alex." He held his hand.

"I love you to" alex tries to stand but winces in pain

"Babe, you're hurt, please don't do anything stupid." He laughed lightly. "I just want you to rest. Please get better, stay alive for me."

"Ok.. " alex drifted off to sleep but woke up when peggy loudly burts in

"SUP BITCHESSSS!" She yelled.

A nurse tapped her shoulder, "you're in a hospital, there are people dying, there are children, please be respectful, do not swear or be loud. Thank you."

Peggy laughed, "sorry."

"Hey peggs.."

"Hey Alex, how are you doing?" Peggy smiled at Alex.

"Im doing better than ever peggs obviously " Alexander said snarkly

"Really? Even better when you cheated on john and he threw the ring you paid for on the ground feeling so heartbroken and down with your bullshit?" Peggy replied sarcastically.

"Peggy..." John said quietly feeling a little awkward.

Alex turned away  "yes" he replied shakily tryimg not to break down

Peggy scoffed, "is he dickhead being well, a dickhead?"

"Peggy." John looked at her.

"Im sorry....."  alex whispered

"Are you? Are you sorry about making John feel like a worthless piece of shit? Are you sorry for making john cry harder than any other time in his life? Are you sorry for breaking his heart into a million pieces and not giving a shit? God dammit Alex! This poor boy has been through so much in his life and he's dealt with so much pain. Are you sorry??" Peggy scolded Alex.

"I-ii-i im sorry" alex says sobbing chocking on the tears as they run down his face

"PEGGY!" John yelled, "it's fine! I'm fine!"

"No it's not fine! He hurt you terribly! You mean everything to me john! You're my best friend I can't have some dick fuck get in the way of your happiness!"

"Peggy, this 'dick fuck' IS my happiness!" John yelled.

"Pls stop yelling 😭" alex wimpers

"What does that matter? I love you okay?" John held Alex's hand and smiled.

"Good." He kissed his lips softly and smiled. "I missed your lips on mine." He blushed at his own words.

Alex smiled and thwn spotred the ring on laurens finger and frowned

"Something wrong, love?"

"The ring.. "

"Hm." He took the ring off and put it on the counter. "I love you, but I don't think I'm ready to be anybody's husband as of right now."

"I know.." alex turned away

"Hey," he put his index finger and thing under Alex's chin to face him. "that doesn't mean I don't love you any less. I just need to trust you first alright dear?" He kissed Alex's cheek.

"I wish.. " alex mutters

"What's wrong? Please, lex... talk to me." He looked concerned, a bit scared. "Please don't push me away, I love you..."

"nothing im fine" " i love you "

"Lex... what's wrong? Please, im here for you. I love you so much you know that. Please don't push me away..."

"Everyone hates me, im really depressed, i have anxiety, and i almost committed suicide 😭😭"

"Oh, Alex..." tears rolled down his freckled cheeks and he frowned, "why didn't you tell me?"

"I was scared im scared to look weak infront of anyone, if i let out my feelings people with think im a sad sack or negitive person when im honestly just depressed. I the society we live in plp would think im fakeing for attention but im not all i want id to be happy again. But i cant"

Johns heart broke when he heard the last part, "y-you're not h-happy?" Tears rolled down his cheeks once more and you could hear his voice crack. "D-did I do something w-wrong? I'm trying I really am, I can do better, I swear."

"No no its not you when im with you i forget my problems. You are perfect... your like a god"

John blushed but still continued to cry. "Alex, I can't let you go through depression like I am..." he sighed, "we should get you tested, so you can get meds if you are depressed. I wanna help you Alex I hate to see you sad like this."

"No im fine. Its fine. I dont want help . Im...fine.."

"Fine..."

"Im..fine"