Pen Ink

Simon - Instagram

I don't fit in. I've never really fit in. Especially living in a world where people constantly draw on themselves, trying to find their soulmate. I see so many people writing on their arm, to see if it appears on the person's arm beside them. I've never had the opportunity to try things like that. So people call me weird. So what if I'm weird? At least I'm not going to die of ink poisoning before I even meet my soulmate. That is if I ever meet them. They probably think I don't exist. The thousands of notes they've written me strung across my arms. And I can't write anything back. Sometimes I feel bad. Other times, it doesn't feel like such a big deal. Maybe it's just the universe's way of telling me, I'm not meant to be with someone. So while I'm sitting here now, tapping my pencil against the blank paper lying on my desk, I notice something starting to appear on my right hand. My soulmate was left handed, that was one thing I had learned. Slowly as different lines come together starting to form yet another gorgeous drawing. Another thing I had learned about the one I was meant to be with, they were an artist like no other. Sketches and mosaics, and a multitude of other things that were always appearing all over my arms. This one appears to be a flower that covers that back of my hand. The stem of the flower wraps itself around my arm, much like a vine. I watch for what felt like seconds, but was actually almost fifteen minutes, as my soulmate finishes their drawing.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and pull up Instagram. Clicking on my camera, I snap a picture of my arm/hand. I post it on Instagram, with the caption, 'Yet another gorgeous drawing by my soulmate! I just hope one day I can meet them...' I click the post button and shove my phone back into my pocket. I stare down at my arm, I have to go wash this off, I'm going to break out in hives soon. That was the issue, the reason I couldn't write things back to my soulmate. I was deathly allergic to pen ink, sharpie, etc. I know what you're thinking. If I'm deathly allergic, how am I still alive? I had two different reactions, if I wrote on myself, I would break out in hives that were way worse than the ones I'm going to get now. However, whenever my soulmate draws on themselves, and it transfers to my skin, I have different reaction. I still get hives, they're just not as bad. It's like it has to do with the way the ink makes contact with my skin. I stand up from my seat, making my way to my bathroom and turning on the water, as much as I wanted to keep it on my arm, I couldn't.

I hated it. I hated that out of all the people in the world, I was the one stuck with this stupid allergy. We had found out when I was five, I was in class, and students started to draw on themselves. I wanted to too, and next thing I knew, I was suffocating. I woke up the next morning in the hospital, attached to so many different machines. It was one of the scariest things I've ever gone through. My parents told me I almost didn't make it. So I still have this stupid thing holding me back, and I've had to live with it for twenty three years.Twenty three years I've been living on this earth, and I'm still alone. Twenty three years of hopeless nights, never finding my soulmate. You could call me a pessimist, I guess that's what I am. Never really hoping for anything good, because I know it'll never come.

I dried off my hands, pulling my phone out of my pocket yet again, to see I have a notification. I pull up Instagram again, going to my most recent post, a couple people had commented. Mainly along the lines of, 'You'll find them soon!' or 'Don't give up hope!' There was one that stuck out, from my friend Tori, or as most everyone on Instagram knew her, 'Victoria_the_cutest_ladybug'. I wasn't quite sure what her username was supposed to mean exactly, but mine wasn't any better. 'Simon_the_bisexual_unicorn'. I hadn't changed it since Tori had made me change it to, in her words, 'Something fun, and stupid.' That was almost two years ago, so everything I post is from 'Simon_the_bisexual_unicorn'. I couldn't blame her though, it was a lot more interesting. If that was the right adjective. Before I had changed it, I had been, 'The_Forever_Lonely_Simon'. 'Simon_the_bisexual_unicorn' was much more exciting, and , I guess you could say, less depressing. 

I looked down at the comment she had left. 'Have you ever thought, maybe, he lives in another state, or even country?'

That was other thing about changing my Instagram name. I had told Tori that I was bisexual, and she hasn't let it go since. She thinks that one of the reasons I haven't found my soulmate, is because 'It's not a girl!' She claims. On the other hand, her boyfriend Michael thinks the complete opposite. They have a running bet whether it will be a girl or guy. I don't really care, I've never cared. I just want to find 'the one.' Whether it be a short girl who has long red hair, and gorgeous blue eyes that sparkle like no other. Or maybe a boy who has short brown hair, and swirly hazel eyes, like I do. Maybe my soulmate will look just like me. They could Have a slight tan, and short dirty blonde hair that swoops in front of his hazel eyes. Either way it doesn't matter, like I said before, I just want to find someone.

I tapped reply, and started typing. 'You have a fair point, and how do you know it's a he?'

A few minutes later my phone vibrated, and I picked it up to see she had responded, not much of a surprise. 'Haha, very funny. We've gone over this, I'm right. Your soulmate is a he, why can't you just admit it?' I was about to respond, when my phone went off again. Another reply, this one from someone named, 'Firef**kingFighter'. Michael. His username was a whole 'nother story, for some other time.

'What are you talking about, we all know it's a girl. Even you're thinking it Tori...hate to break it to ya' He replied. I didn't respond, deciding to let them battle it out themselves. Thinking back to what Tori had said earlier got me thinking myself, What if they really did live in a completely different state, or country? I have been pretty bored lately, Michael and Tori haven't been coming over as often. tapped the kik app on my phone. there's never a reason not to make new friends, I could meet the one. I searched up a random word (Well, maybe it wasn't so random...) and clicked on the first person that popped up.