"The moment I held Affan in my arms I decided one thing; I will nurture him in ways to make him just like you! The palms that warmed your cold hands could not stuff his fists with pistachio nuts and I feel disturbed. I miss Mama. Only your mother was able to transform a reserved Irtiza into what he is today, sleeping with my son. How same they look! Same eyebrows. Same nose, pivotal and arrogant. I wish I would have met her, see into her eyes with gratitude for you. Many a times I fail to say what I feel for you, Irtiza, but I can swear to Allah that I am the best version of myself when I am with you." Her hand halted for a moment and she pushed her hair back while staring at the piece of her heart sleeping beside the man she had lost her heart a year ago and smiled.
"That moment cannot be described in words. My arms had gone feeble. My hands were shivering when I touched your eyelash and you opened your beautiful grayish black eyes. I had hummed some sweet nothings and you smiled for the first time. Your fingers felt so tiny yet promising under the blue blanket that I could not stop the forceful happy tears in my eyes. Your father is worth the wait so you are!" She stopped to plant a small kiss at the forehead of sleeping angel.
"At that time I thought how would I be able to raise you? How would I be able to raise a gentle human heart? A man with high manners? And then I saw the man who has been my inspiration for all that is good, all that is beautiful, all that is memorable. He was standing still at the threshold of the door and all I could see was some unexplainable expression spread through the dimensions of his face. His eyes were telling the tales of exhaustion he had been through the whole night. His eyes were focused on us. His shoulders were straightening again and I could not help crying again." Turning to see Irtiza, Sataish ran her fingers through his hair and he moved a little in his slumber. Looking at the little human being sleeping between them she exhaled and chuckled voicelessly.
"Your eyes had awe in them, Irtiza, as if telling me, 'We did it', and I being so much enthralled by the idea of motherhood that I even forgot to smile. The moment was magical when we grew three feet from two. I don't remember how you walked to us and placed the bag of medicines at the side table and lowered on my arms to look at him closely. All I remember is you were smiling the rarest kind of your smile; very special, the one after seeing oasis in desert. My eyelashes had forbidden bearing the load of my straight eyes and I had to lower them too. I had to absorb myself into that picture perfect moment. Your fingers, sacredly, were caressing the dry cheeks of Affan and I was telling you many feelings without a single word and that was the time when a drop of water fell straight on my elbow and I could not bridge my tears too. It was the third time that you cried in front of me and it instantly clutched my heart. Your teary eyes were staring into mine before you kissed my head and wrapped an arm around my shoulders while whispering, "Thank you." Like always I blushed. What else you can expect from me?" She bit her lip mischievously and stared lovingly at him. He was sleeping deeply otherwise it was call for trouble.
"Your voice was husky when you were saying Adhan in his ear. Again I cannot describe the real feelings. But I had this conviction deep down my heart that I had married the right man, the man who had remained dizzy throughout the days just for tolerating my insomnia, the man who made hyped-cravings so easy that I actually stopped craving! Say that I lost count so cravings died. You were the only man who would convince me for light walk every morning with you and for that reason you had to jog slowly beside me. How much I love you for this cannot tell you!" She relaxed her back and covered Affan carefully with his blue blanket with cutest teddy bears.
"And then came the first Monday after Affan was born. I was playing with the fence of bougainvillea as Affan was sleeping after a tiring night and I did not feel sleeping. You were taking shower when I left him in his cot just to wander for a while. I clearly remember that the dark clouds had occupied the sky and it was drizzling when you whispered from behind,
YOU ARE READING
Philophobia
Espiritual"The end of your world?" Her eyes flooded with doubts. "The day when I stop loving you", his fingers trembled in her hand, "and the day is already here", tightly pressing his eyelids he said, "I cannot love you, Sataish". Where is the question of l...
