The Heart Of Scars

Chapter 16

    It's been two weeks since I found out about Ashton's real attitude and it's the last day of my suspension. Sadly, everything between me and Julian has been spiraling out of control, and I can't fix it, no matter how hard I try. He doesn't come to my house with the others and if they approach him he doesn't even look at them. They've told me he just stands there looking at the floor, with no emotion, and just walks away, while they try to talk to him. I sometimes see him when I go out, but he runs off when he notices me.
    It breaks my heart to know that he doesn't want to be around me anymore. 

    Covering my eyes, I sigh. I was sitting on the loveseat with my legs crossed over each other. These pasts few weeks have been so stressful...Why can't I just crawl into a ball and sleep for a month.

    I unconsciously hear a click come from the front door. The door quietly opens and closes. The lock then clicks back. Light steps make their way to where I sit. Removing my arm from my eyes I go to get up, only to be blinded yet again. Gasping I fall back onto the loveseat.

    "Guess who!" I raise my left hand to the fingers hooding my eyes.

    "Ash?" the hands immediately retreat once I answer. Coming eye-to-eye with a grinning Ashton, I raise my eyebrows questioningly. How did he get a key for the front door? I surf through my memories, trying to recall when he got the key.

    "Your dad gave me a key last week since I come here everyday. I didn't use it cause I thought it would be weird. I used it today since I wanted to surprize you..." he looks off to the side. A light shade of pink covering his cheeks. I smile trying to contain a blush from tinting my face as well. He wanted to surprize me, how sweet!

    We head to my room, since we weren't allowed in the living room anymore. (We made a mess on the couches, last time.) Once we settle everything down, we relax in our usual spots. He sits at the desk and I lay on my stomach on my bed. I watch with narrowed eyes waiting to find a change of expression on his face.

     After a while of waiting for him to ask for help, I turn to the papers that were sprawled out in front of me. I circle the few answers he got wrong and put the papers in order. I reach over and place them next to him.
    I quickly retreat as our hands brush against each other. I roll onto my back and fiddle my thumbs trying to think of different ways to hide my feelings. Finding it no use I flop back over onto my stomach. Unwanted thoughts start racing through my head.
    Why do I feel like this when I'm around Ash? Does he feel the same way? I grip the covers and bury my face in them. A muffled groan escapes my mouth. Trying to clear my mind only made me think of him more.

    The doorbell sounds and I jump. Tumbling off the bed, I sprint to the door. Looking through the peephole, I detect a guy on the porch. My hands shake uncontrollably as I ask for their name. I clutch my hands trying to make them stop. Not at a time like this! Come on. You don't need it right now, stop shaking! I didn't have to take them since I got here and now you wanna start acting up again?! What if Ashton sees you like this.

    "Hi, this is Carlos from Electrix. I would like recommend switching to our company for an even better and cheaper cable package." the man recites.

    "W-we don't want any." I reject his offer. Stupid salesman coming at a time like this. As soon as I see him leave the house I run to my room, not caring about Ashton seeing me anymore. I desperately scavenge around my room for a pill bottle. A small pile forms on the floor as I take stuff from their spots and toss them away. A loud scraping sound comes from behind me, but I don't dare stop searching.

    Arms wrap around me tightly, "What happened?! What's wrong?" Ashton asks in a panicked voice. His arms get in the way as I try to continue my, so far unsuccessful, hunt for pills.

    "Don't touch me!" I yell, tears pooling in my eyes. I slap his arms away; he stands there watching me, not knowing what to do. Holding onto my last few strings of sense, I pause and fall to my knees. I lean my head on the drawer I was just going through. I open the bottom drawer and slowly search through it.

    As my last attempt comes to an end, my fingers brush by something smooth. My eyes widen. Gripping onto the pill bottle, I try to open it with my shaking hands. I feel it lift out of my grip. I jerk my head up. Ashton quickly reads though the instructions as I latch onto his arm whining for him to give back the pills. He unscrews the lid and pours two pills into the palm of his hand. I let go of his arm and lay down on the floor, tears falling from my different colored orbs.
    I lay there and Ashton leaves my side. I hold onto my head as pain shoots through it. I look around and see Ashton running towards me. I close my eyes hoping the light would go away. Ashton sits next to me. Slowly he brings my head onto his lap, as if I were carrying a baby.

    "It's okay Jas. I have your medicine. Open your mouth so I can give them to you," I follow his order and open my mouth like a newborn bird. He then places the pills in my mouth once he leans my head forward. He then gives me a sip of water.
    I swallow the pills and water, and close my eyes. Ashton lifts me up. I open my eyes when he places me gently on my bed. He goes to the desk and writes something down. I close my eyes as the exhaustion hits me hard.