I Won't Let Go [ BWWM ]

Chapter 48

  Relieving Pain

** Journee**
{7 months later}

Sitting here in the courtroom waiting to get this trial on the way and hopefully once and for all get this monster out my life. I am happy they had the to start at one this afternoon. For the past four days, I been gettings sick and feeling sluggish. I wait til Ethan leaves for work then I just get sick and don’t want to do anything. Ethan is all excited about this about some surprise for me after we leave here but I just want to leave go home and go to bed.

“Journee.” I hear Ethan say my name as he nudges me on my side a little bit. “What Ethan damn.” “They’re calling your name.” “I haven’t heard anybody call my damn name.” When I heard “Mrs. Harbin.” “Shit I forgot that is my last name now.” “Journee, we have been married for seven months now.” I just stared at Ethan. Then looked at the man calling my name. The monsters lawyer. 

I walk and to stand and sit down waiting for his questions to begin.

“Mrs. Harbin, how are you today?” I rolled my eyes “Well I’m just dandy how ‘bout you sir?” “I’m well. I’m going ask you about some event that pertains to my client.” I cut him off quick. “Can you please just ask me what you wish to know.” Before he could speak the monster motion for him to go over to him and they talked quick and the smug look on their face made me sick.

“Mrs. Harbin, isn’t it true you are a stripper?” “Correction, I use to be a stripper and a prostitute.” “Do you always dress as like you are today.” “What does how I am dressed like have to do with anything?” “You saw your former foster father at your place of employment.” “Former place of employment” He then continued. “Please excuse me. your former place. Then you gave him your address and wanted to cry wolf when he showed up.” I laughed at the lies he still spits out to this day. The courtroom door open and in walked the devil’s wife. 

I looked at both of them as my eyes begin to swell and my eyes started burning. I looked right at the lawyer. “Sir do you have daughters?” “Excuse me Mrs. Harbin but what does that have to do with the case?” “Answer and you will find out.” “I’ll answer but first isn’t it true you married your husband to look good in court for today.” “I’ll answer that question also. Now, do you have a daughter or daughters?” “Yes, I have two and three sons. What does that have to do with anything?” I watch him laugh along with a few others.”

“After my mom died of cancer I got put back in the foster system and your clients and his whore wife took me in. Do either of yall want to tell them what yall did to me?” I stopped everybody looked around. “I asked if you had daughters because your client is a child molester. Along with his wife.” I looked between both of them.  “Tell everybody what yall did to me.” Silence filled the room. I was about to speak when she said, “we never did anything to you but love you.”

“Love me. Did you love me when you held me down and let rape me, or all the times you fucking watched? Let’s not forget all the time yall brought your friends to watch and even have you. Yall passed me around so much I lose count. That shit fucked me up so bad here.” I say pointing to my head. “And here,” I say pointing to my heart. “That first time yall said look at what the woman is doing o the movie. Be a big girl. Let's not forget about my son.” Everything went extra quit but my tears. 

“I was almost due when you and your friends drugged me so bad and forced so much liquor down my throat that my baby died. I ran away after that went to another state got help then moved here became a prostitute than a stripper. I didn’t marry Ethan because he is a pastor nope I married him because he came and sat in hell with me and loved me when I didn’t love myself. He loved me harder and in that, I begin to find me. Not the outter person but me. I have a shattered past because of them never knew love from a man until my husband. I have only had three people to love me in my life.” I heard someone strongly clearing they're and I looked and made eye contact then continued.

“Four people to love me in all my life. Two are dead and two are here. I asked you if you had daughters. How would you feel if they went through the same shit I did? The man you want to go free, he did this to me. Some days I would be raped over eight times a day by his different friends and him. I remember one time, it was my birthday.” I stopped and that memory came back to me and my pain fell out of my eyes.

“They had their friends over all that day doing whatever they wanted to me. They watched. That sick bitch sucked his dick while his friend was on top of me and another one of his friends was forcing his dick down my throat. So much for me turning nine that went on all day. I became broken as a child now as an adult. I’m still shattered due to your sick action that you call love.”

I watched the lawyer look at me. His eyes, I could not read help hurt and regret. He walks over to him. Then told the judge he will no longer represent him and gathered his things and walked out. Th other lawyers said they had no questions. I got down and walked back to my seat. Ethan interlaced our fingers then whispered in my ear. “Are you alright.” I shook my head yes. Then we heard the judge say the court will pick up in a few days when the monster finds another lawyer.

I laid my head on Ethan’s shoulder. “Sweetheart you sure you ok. We can put this off til another time.” No, let’s go.” We got up and left. After about a 30-minute drive we pulled up to this amazing house.

“Ethan where are we.” He looked and me and smiled. Him and Curtis got out and I followed behind them.