Always Be Appreciative of Opposable Thumbs

Chapter Four: An Old Woman in a Shoe

 "My stomach is eating itself," Sera groaned. She leaned over the cart and started poking the back of Hugo's head. "Cabbage Boy, find me something to eat."

Hugo grit his teeth. "You ate the rest of the cabbages."

"Yeah, yesterday. And now it's today."

"I have nothing else."

"Honestly, they were a bit bland. And burnt. You really need to learn how to cook."

"You could have roasted them."

"I'm a princess. I don't know anything about fire." She let out a long sigh. "They gave me gas, too."

"I noticed."

"I need real food, not smelly, burnt vegetables. I need meat. Like chicken. Or duck. Oh, sorry, Willow."

Don't worry about it.

"Don't know what you just said, but I'm gonna assume we're cool." Sera resumed poking Hugo in the head. "Seriously, I need food. My delicate constitution can't last without some sort of sustenance."

"How is any part of you delicate?"

"Hey, I take offense—"

What's that?

Hugo pulled his attention away from Sera and turned to see what Willow was looking at. There appeared to be a house up ahead. Since they'd left their home village of Agraewen, they hadn't encountered a single soul on the road. Not even an abandoned shack. This was the first sign of life they had seen.

"I bet they'll have something good to eat," Sera said, leaning over Hugo's shoulder while Willow leaned over the other. "And maybe a spare bed. I'm sick of sleeping in this rickety old cart."

"I might remind you that you were the one who was so excited to use my cart," Hugo said.

Sera thrust her finger towards the house. "It's decided. We shall lodge there."

"I think first we need to be invited."

"Onward, Cabbage Boy!"

Mumbling to himself, Hugo continued to pull the cart in the direction of the house while Sera went on and on about roast chicken and cherry pies and feather beds. He was just about ready to abandon the cart and bring Willow back to their destroyed home when he noticed something odd about the house that was looming ever closer. It wasn't shaped like a typical building. It was more oblong than square. And though it was hard to tell in the low light of the setting sun, it didn't appear to be made of ordinary building material. It looked almost like leather. If he didn't know any better, he'd say it was a—

"Is that a shoe?" Sera said.

Indeed it was. The house was made out of a giant shoe with windows and doors and even a little fence around the back. The three of them stared at it for a good while, unable to form any words to express their surprise.

Should we still stop? asked Willow.

"It's the only house we've seen for days," Hugo said.

Sera wrinkled her nose. "Whaddya wanna bet it smells really bad in there?"

"Well, we have no more food. And who knows when we'll see another sign of civilization."

"And more than likely someone who lives in a shoe will be very open-minded about a cabbage farmer dating a goose."

Hugo shot her a glare, but she ignored him and jumped out of the cart to approach the front door.

What do we have to lose? Willow said to Hugo. Maybe when they realize that Sera is a princess, they'll feel honored to put us up for the night.